Have you ever crossed paths with that one remarkable person who makes you feel truly special? The kind of individual who not only listens to your words but holds onto every sentiment you share. Someone who remembers your most significant milestones, birthdays, pivotal life moments, and even goes the extra mile to check in on others’ well-being? This is the caliber of people who are the very heartbeat of an organization’s culture. They are the connectors, the nurturers, the colleagues with doors wide open. Regrettably, it’s all too easy to take for granted the invaluable contributions these remarkable people bring to the workplace.
We’re all familiar with the fast-paced nature of the modern workplace, where we can easily be swept away by the whirlwind of tasks and deadlines. We often find ourselves moving from one project to the next, working tirelessly to meet our goals, sometimes forgetting to take a moment to acknowledge the incredible people walking alongside us. But today, let’s pause and reflect on something profoundly important…expressing gratitude for the people we work with, especially considering the recent loss of a colleague.
In the most gut-wrenching moment recently, our Steople family was shaken by the loss of a beloved friend and colleague, Kristi Gifford. Kristi had been an integral part of our team, weaving her presence into the fabric of Steople since 2009. Her departure has reminded us of the fragility of life and the value of the bonds we share. It has underscored the significance of showing gratitude to those who stand beside us, navigating every triumph and tribulation together.
The Importance of Everyday Gratitude
How do you rate yourself showing gratitude to those who now sit around your table? We must become intentional because true appreciation shouldn’t be a one-time event reserved only for moments of loss or significant milestones. It’s a daily practice that should seamlessly permeate our everyday work lives. Recognizing the efforts, dedication, and unique talents of those around us not only fosters a great work environment but also strengthens the bonds of all our relationships.
So, why don’t we show gratitude more often? In a recent study, respondents unanimously agreed that saying “thank you” to colleagues “makes me feel happier and more fulfilled”—but on any given day, only a mere 10% acted on that impulse. A stunning 60% said they “either never express gratitude at work or do so perhaps once a year.” In short, Americans actively suppress gratitude on the job, even to the point of robbing themselves of happiness.
Why? It may be because, in theory, no one gives away anything at work; every exchange is fundamentally economic. You don’t deliver that memo to your boss at three o’clock sharp out of the goodness of your heart, but because that is what you’re being paid to do. Your paycheck becomes the equivalent of a “thank you.” Fail to do what you’re “asked,” and you may not see another one.
But, we cannot fall into that dangerous trap. If you really want to be an employer of choice and cultivate a strong culture, expressing gratitude must become a habit. Small gestures of appreciation, such as handwritten notes, picking up a lunch tab, highlighting a colleague in a meeting, or sincerely expressing appreciation for their contributions, are powerful ways to convey the depth of our gratitude. These actions celebrate the unique qualities that make our colleagues indispensable and contribute to a workplace culture that thrives on genuine appreciation.
The Power of Appreciation
In the aftermath of experiencing such a profound loss, we are reminded of the immense impact a single person can have on an organization. These moments underscore how deeply we cherish the presence and contributions each of us brings to the collective table. It’s important to acknowledge that every individual adds a unique set of skills, experiences, and diverse perspectives to our shared endeavor. Together, we operate like the pieces of a complex puzzle, harmoniously fitting together to create something far greater than the mere sum of its parts.
Reflecting on Kristi’s time with us, it’s undeniable that she brought an invaluable richness to our collective experience. In times of grief and loss, appreciation takes on an even deeper meaning… it becomes a way to pay tribute to her contributions, friendship, and legacy. While there are countless ways to honor Kristi’s memory, we have carefully chosen the six most meaningful ways to remember her, highlighting what made her an exceptional part of our work family.
- Kristi was genuinely passionate about her work with people wherever she was – she never met a stranger.
- Her attention to detail and excellence was beyond reproach…she constantly went above and beyond for the team.
- Kristi had so many friends and invested as much time as she could with them – she was that 3 am friend you could always count on.
- She had a gift for conversation and storytelling, sometimes tickling herself as she recounted a funny story.
- Kristi was a crier with a heart as big as the ocean. But she always owned it saying – sorry I can’t help it!
- Kristi did everything she could to tend to others, often putting our needs ahead of her own. This was her life’s purpose.
As I reflect on the void left by Kristi’s absence, I remember the warmth of her smile, the wisdom of her counsel, and the deep camaraderie we shared. I remember when we laughed together, overcame challenges, and achieved great things as a team. We also had so many heartfelt thoughts and memories shared by our clients about Kristi – I honestly am not sure how much each of us realized the impact we might have on others in our daily lives. It was remarkable and a good reminder.
Moving Forward Together
Kristi’s legacy highlighted the value of each person in our organization. It urges us to appreciate the living, express gratitude, and strengthen the bonds that hold us together. In doing so, we honor not only the memory of our friend but also nurture the whole reason we are together as colleagues and friends. We truly are sitting around the table together, working to make a difference in the world.
The team and I recognize that appreciation must transcend mere moments—it should be ingrained in our daily lives. Reflecting on the days since Kristi fell ill, we’ve openly acknowledged that we don’t celebrate and appreciate as much as we should, so we are working to fix that. We believe it’s how we can celebrate the remarkable group of individuals who make our organization great.
Here is a rallying cry. Can we all commit to making this a priority as we move forward together, ensuring that we appreciate one another? Making sure we look across the table appreciating our similarities and differences, fostering a culture of gratitude, and working towards making all workplaces a place of support, respect, and camaraderie.
At Steople we believe that leaders bring the weather, both sunshine and storms. In fact, a client I was recently coaching inadvertently brought the rain clouds to the office every time she walked in the room. Janet was an experienced manager, but new to her company. She came in eager to make a positive impression and quickly identified inefficiencies in her department. She created a plan, and to ensure that it was implemented according to her vision, she spent several hours sitting with each of her employees, showing them how to work more efficiently.
Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness are the characteristics that make up the SCARF model and when employees feel satisfied their needs are being met in each of these areas, dopamine is released and the part of the brain that recognizes rewards is activated. When employees find themselves in workplace situations that threaten their sense of security in these areas, they tend to retreat in an effort to find shelter from the storm.
Simply put, when we are in a mental state of security we tend to operate from the fontal cortex or the “thinking” part of our brain. When we are threatened, our reactions are dictated by the limbic system where our flight, fight, or freeze tendencies take over.
Janet and I talked about the SCARF model in relationship to her department, her employees, and her behavior. Janet took some time for self-reflection and considered which of the motivators were most important to her and how they might be different for her employees. She also had to step back and consider how her behavior might have threatened the psychological safety of her employees.
- Status – Janet decided that while it wasn’t her intention, her actions did not empower her team and could have threatened people’s need to be seen as valuable contributors. Epidemiologist Michael Marmot’s research suggests that “status is the most significant determinant of human longevity and health, even when controlling for education and income.” Long story short- everyone wants to feel important and by sweeping in and “solving” the problems without consulting others, several of the team members felt unimportant, devalued, and a diminished sense of self.
- Certainty – If the last few years have taught us anything, it is that the work environment is inherently volatile, complex, and full of ambiguity. Janet questioned how the immediate changes she implemented could have affected the security and stability team members felt over their own futures on the team and in the environment.
- Autonomy –Again, Janet’s intention was good, but when she stepped back from the situation, she questioned whether some people might have felt micromanaged by her presence as she individually walked people through her vision of how the processes should work rather then getting their buy-in and trusting their technical competence.
- Relatedness –When we don’t know someone well enough to understand their motivations, our tendency as human beings is to assume negative intent. Janet asked herself, “Did I do enough in my individual interactions to build a sense of relatedness and rapport to ensure that people understand my intentions in facilitating rapid change?”
- Fairness – The perception that an event has been unfair, Rock writes, generates a strong response in the brain stirring hostility and undermining trust. According to his research, “People who perceive others as unfair don’t feel empathy for the pain of others.” What may feel fair to one person, may not feel fair to another person. Without asking Janet wasn’t sure, but she did begin to see how people could have perceived the changes, the timing, or the methods of implementation as unfair.
Using the SCARF model as a guide for self reflection, Janet was able to recognize and deliberately shape future interactions to provide a safe harbor in which her employees were able to relax, thrive, and do their best work.
If you are looking for opportunities to grow your leader’s skills or to create a psychologically safe work environment for your team, reach out. At Steople we equip your leaders to avoid stormy conditions and bring smooth-sailing weather.
As a psychologist, my fascination with tribal culture runs even deeper, anchored in the rich tapestry of human behavior and our innate reliance on one another. It’s intriguing to consider that, for the better part of the past 100,000 years, our ancestors thrived in tribal societies, where cooperation within tight-knit groups was the cornerstone of survival. These societies, with their unique languages, rituals, and distinctive attire, symbolically marked the boundaries of in-group unity. It’s here, in these ancient lessons, that I believe we can find profound insights that resonate in the modern world of business.
In my own recent reflections, I’ve turned my attention to the dynamic of teams, recognizing that, like tribal communities, they too require periods of reorganization and reconnection. There are these little unwritten rules or boundaries that may be negatively impacting the team and need to be brought to the surface. If you have ever experienced issues on a team, you were a part of or leading, I want you to know that all of us are right in there with you! I have and will continue to face challenges that need to be addressed, much like you have. Most recently, I sought external guidance, and with my coach, I gleaned a significant ah-ha moment: for me to be an effective leader, I must stand unwaveringly on the battlefield, laser-focused on the vision. Distractions, whether past grievances, internal struggles, or external disruptions, can divert my attention from our Core Purpose. In essence, a cohesive team is only as strong as its weakest member, and the strength of the tribe hinges on each member’s commitment to supporting one another. The old saying of you can’t see the forest for the trees is absolutely applicable here. And those small revelations can help any leader course correct.
Tribal Laws That Must Be in Place for a Successful Team
This reflection brings me to the heart of the matter—tribal leadership. To navigate the complex landscape of modern business, we can draw inspiration from the timeless wisdom of tribal norms and unwritten rules that have evolved over centuries. Let’s explore some of these norms and their profound relevance in the context of contemporary business leadership and teams:
1. Lead by Example: In tribal cultures, leaders didn’t just command; they led through actions and deeds, setting a standard for others to follow. Today, effective leaders inspire and motivate by exemplifying the qualities they expect from their team.
2. Collective Responsibility: Tribal communities understood that every member bore responsibility for the tribe’s well-being. In business, fostering a sense of collective responsibility among team members encourages them to take ownership of shared goals…and for the team members to address individual issues that are holding the team back.
3. Conflict Resolution Within the Group: Tribes prioritized resolving disputes within the community to maintain unity. In today’s workplace, addressing conflicts directly and constructively is vital for a positive and productive environment. A friend once told me that unresolved conflict is the biggest source of waste on teams.
4. Respect for Differences: Tribal societies celebrated the diversity of skills and roles within the group. Modern teams should embrace diversity, recognizing that varied perspectives enhance innovation and problem-solving. Diversity increases productivity by 66% and should be part of the team fabric.
5. Interdependence: Tribes thrived on the contributions of every member. In business, emphasizing interdependence reinforces the importance of each team member’s role in achieving collective goals. Knowing strengths and weaknesses of each member and accounting for that is crucial.
6. Trust and Loyalty: Trust was the bedrock of tribal leadership, earned through actions and fairness. Trust remains the cornerstone of effective leadership today. Trust is so intertwined with loyalty and is the bedrock of great teams throughout history.
7. Protection and Provision: Tribes cared for vulnerable members, fostering empathy. In organizations, promoting a culture of support enhances employee well-being. Ensuring that team members feel a sense of community and care is key and should be reciprocated across all levels of the organization.
8. Celebration of Achievements: Tribes celebrated together, reinforcing unity. Recognizing and celebrating accomplishments boosts employee morale and motivation. This one is so important, but so neglected in most organizations we work with, unfortunately.
Incorporating these tribal principles into modern business teams can create a more inclusive, cooperative, and engaged workforce. These principles instill a sense of shared purpose, unity, and responsibility, forming the foundation upon which strong and successful organizations are built in our rapidly evolving world. Learn from the past so you can build a stronger future!
As we venture forth in the dynamic landscape of business, let us remember the lessons of our tribal ancestors. Let us lead by example, nurture collective responsibility, resolve conflicts constructively, celebrate diversity, embrace interdependence, build trust, provide support, and never forget to celebrate our collective achievements. In doing so, we can forge bonds that transcend the ordinary, transforming our teams into tribes of resilience and excellence.
Coaches help athletes hone their game, sharpen their skills, and leverage their natural strengths to reach their goals. We wouldn’t ask a top athlete to train, practice, or compete without a coach yet when the playing field is the workplace, we frequently expect our players to go it alone. Business coaches operate in much the same way as an athletic coach. We help professionals deepen self-awareness, strategize business plans, and reach their goals. Even after explaining this concept to business professionals, I am often met with blank stares. In hopes of clearing up confusion as to why everybody needs a coach, I am sharing the top four reasons people hire me as their business coach.
1. You just got promoted
This is exciting news. Congratulations! After the celebration ends, it’s time to get busy and deliver results. Unfortunately, what got you here won’t get you there. You were probably promoted because you excelled in your last role and demonstrated the drive and determination to do more. But, in every situation I have seen, the new role will require new skills, not the least of which is letting go of some of the things that made you awesome in the first place.
I had a client, Courtney, who was excited when she was promoted to her dream job because of excellent past performance. She was surprised, however, to discover once she got the role, that she was going to be required to step outside of her comfort zone. Since she was used to being the best, this was a bit unsettling and to make herself feel better she reverted to doing tasks that she knew she was good at. Although Courtney was well-intentioned her new reports saw her as a micro-manager and her new supervisor wasn’t getting the type of work, she really needed from her.
Courtney and I worked through a plan to master the new competencies she was expected to demonstrate. Then we worked on how to effectively delegate, motivate, and empower her team. Within a month Courtney was back on track and had reclaimed her title of “superstar.”
2. You just got passed over for the promotion
There are lots of reasons that you might not get the job you had your sights set on. Maybe it was within your control and maybe it wasn’t, but when the bad news strikes, it’s time to get a coach. I have worked with people who were fortunate enough to be told why they didn’t get the job. That gave us a head start on how to develop the skills and get ready for the next opportunity.
I have also worked with people who weren’t given a reason for being passed over for the role. In that situation our strategy begins with digging deep and self-reflecting on how other people’s perceptions could be sabotaging their career options. Either way, my clients have been able to step back and turn lemons into lemonade by taking an undesirable outcome and creating new strategies to get them where they want to go.
3. You want to get ready for the next promotion
Cameron is one my “go getters.” She loves her work, she is driven, self-motivated, and wants to move up the corporate ladder as quickly as possible. Sometimes organizations will sponsor coaching engagements, but in Cameron’s case her company did not. It didn’t matter to Cameron because she wasn’t going to let anyone limit her potential. She knew she was worth investing in and was willing to make that investment in developing herself.
In fact, according to a global coaching study conducted by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), 61% of coaching clients say they saw dramatic improvement in their management skills due to the work they did with their coach. Over the 3 years we’ve worked together, Cameron has been promoted twice, more than paying for the investment she made in herself and is now leading and investing in others.
4. You don’t want to be promoted
One of my clients, Brandon, told me that he wanted to start a coaching relationship because he wanted to go into management. However, once our coaching sessions started, he was able to look at his motivations and he discovered that he really didn’t want to get promoted, but he assumed that was the only way to be challenged and make more money. He was a strong individual contributor and found a great deal of joy in his work. Through coaching, Brandon was able to clarify his goals and create an action plan that allowed him to find a path, other than a promotion, which helped him meet his objectives.
MY CAREER
During my 30-year career, I have been in every one of these positions myself. Early in my career, I wanted to get promoted and was able to use a coach to help me clarify my values and grow my skills so that it was possible. Once I got promoted, I learned that I didn’t know what I needed in the new role and had a great coach help me work through challenges and navigate potential barriers I had never seen coming.
I have experienced the bewilderment that many people face when the promotion they are sure is coming their way doesn’t materialize. Assisting me to be able to objectively evaluate my strengths and weaknesses was a powerful gift that a coach helped me with. Ultimately, I realized that I didn’t want greater responsibility in the organization. I just wanted more variety in my work assignments.
Two years later, when I was promoted into a role I didn’t ask for, I enlisted another coach who helped me find the courage to leave the organization and find a better fit so that I could continue making deliberate choices as to how I spend my time.
The value I received from each one of these situations and each one of these coaches was truly life altering and helped get me to where I am today. Apparently, I am not alone with that feeling because “The International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring” recently reported that 75% of business leaders who received coaching said that the value of the coaching was “considerably greater” or “far greater” than the money and time invested.
So, wherever you are in your career, now is the right time to find a coach. Your coach will support and challenge you to create a plan, sharpen your skills, and reach your goals. Remember, Everybody Needs a Coach!
Many of us believe that once our work slows down or once our team is running smoothly, then we will have time to be happy. But research shows the opposite to be true. When we embrace happiness first, despite our circumstances, we strengthen our ability to think creatively and solve problems more efficiently.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it is important to understand that our mental health is on a fluctuating continuum. At any given time, any of us could be struggling, flourishing, or somewhere in between. There will always be external circumstances that make our work challenging and affect our feeling of well-being, but deciding to be happy is something we do have some control over. Below are three science-supported activities that can help you focus on the positive – which in turn can increase your resilience, improve your problem-solving abilities, and allow you to become a more impactful leader. Pick one of the activities below, try it yourself, and then for even greater impact, take it to your team.
1. Gratitude
Research shows that expressing gratitude allows you to notice the good things that already exist. Not only does this mindset increase positive emotions, but recent studies on gratitude also demonstrate that people displaying high levels of gratitude, have lower heart rate variability, (McCraty, Atkinson & Tiller, 1995) less inflammation (Celano 2016), and are less likely to develop chronic illness. (Krause 2017)
Action Item: There are many ways of expressing gratitude, but an easy way to start is writing down five things a week that you are truly grateful for. Think about your “why” behind your feelings of gratitude and focus on that as you are writing about them. Make sure you truly feel grateful for the items you write down and avoid the temptation to write what you think you should be grateful for.
Take It to Your Team: Share this practice with your team and ask people to take turns at the beginning of team meetings highlighting something for which they are grateful.
2. Cultivate Optimism
No matter how rough a day was, every day holds the opportunity for something great to happen. Optimism is the generalized sense of confidence about the future, characterized by broad expectancy that outcomes are likely to be positive. (Boniwell, 2006) Optimism is a skill that can be learned and is highly correlated to someone’s thoughts, beliefs, and actions. So, learning how to reframe or shift your thoughts can strengthen your optimism.
Action Item: Spend 15-30 minutes thinking about what you would like your team to look like six months from now. Write a description of what that goal looks like: describe the interactions that take place, your daily tasks, and your team’s outcomes. Hold onto your description, read it daily, and think about how good it will feel to reach that goal. Then, plan small action steps to help you get there.
Take it to Your Team: Have your team do the same exercise on their own and ask them to bring in a picture of something that symbolizes their vision. Have the team members share their pictures or post them in a community area for everyone to see.
3. Avoid Overthinking
Overthinking a difficult situation drains our mental resources. Additionally, the more we think about something, the more engrained the thoughts become, and the more difficult it is to stop thinking about it. Learning to control our thoughts and quiet our mind chatter, however, allows us to reclaim cognitive control of our lives.
Action Item: Schedule 30 minutes a day that you will allow yourself to worry or ruminate over difficult situations. When your mind starts to chatter outside of the scheduled time, gently remind yourself that you have some time set aside for that later, but now is the time to re-focus on the task at hand.
Take It to Your Team: Challenge your team to “not sweat the small stuff.” You may want to start this activity by having them brainstorm a list of the “Big Stuff.” That could include the organization’s mission, the most important team objectives, and their own values. Then when the team finds themselves spending time and energy on challenges, have them circle back and decide if this is time well spent or if they are just sweating the small stuff.
Practicing these interventions will allow you to begin taking control of your mindset. As you continue to grow and develop this skill you will create an upward spiral of feeling physically better, thinking more clearly, and solving problems at work with more ease. These outcomes then create new positive emotions which start the upward cycle all over again allowing you to reach new heights of efficiency and productivity in your work.
As I sat in the passenger seat of Debbie’s car, she gave me a tour of the beloved Ft. Worth children’s hospital she had worked at for the past 43 years. She spoke with love and respect about what she had helped build over that time. She reminisced about the two small buildings they had started in all those years ago and pointed to the numerous blue-topped roofs and sprawling grounds they decorated with adorable, welcoming-to-children topiary landscaping. We saw the Ronald McDonald House and the staff childcare center, as well as the numerous areas for reflection and relaxation for those suffering a physical setback. She talked about how the pandemic trauma of the last two years had impacted the culture they had built and even threatened to crumble it.
Regardless, as we pulled into the parking garage, she greeted the parking attendant warmly and asked how he was feeling, saying to me, that he had just recovered from surgery. As we strolled the brightly colored hallways, Debbie chatted and hugged her way across the campus. She would quickly point out those individuals who had been with the hospital for decades and were so dedicated to the cause of helping children heal that they wouldn’t think of leaving until retirement. During this tour, I fell in love with this new hospital client of ours and told Debbie how inspired I was to be a part of their purpose on this planet.
The whole experience was remarkable and seeing so many long-term employees reminded me of another group I had worked with the week before who had recently been acquired by one of my clients. During our joint company strategic planning session, we were discussing the “talent war,” and we all listened intently as two of the owners of the acquired company talked about the team that became family over the years. They had started at the age of 16 working in the lumber business and were set to retire from that same company in the next 5 or so years. They talked about others in the business who grew up together, got through school, enjoyed fishing trips as a team, went to one another’s weddings, and celebrated when they had children. We are talking retention of 31…28…19 years, which are unbelievable numbers in today’s world.
So how is this possible and do we have any chance of recreating this in today’s job market? Some will say “No way, today’s workforce isn’t nearly as loyal, and it is not realistic.” But is that true? Or can we at least aim to be a significant part of an employee’s work history? I believe we can.
Develop a Great Retention Initiative
Many employers are no doubt wishing that the Great Resignation, where employees have been quitting their jobs in record numbers since the Spring of 2021, would suddenly become a very different trend: the Great Retention. But research suggests that many workers remain confident about their prospects in the current hiring market, in fact, 41% of respondents are currently looking or plan to look for a new role in the next six months. This means employers must still be vigilant about the risk of top performers walking out the door.
This, in my opinion, is the number one issue, outside of finding talent, for companies today. Every single coaching or consulting conversation I have includes the current challenges with talent. And it’s not getting better anytime soon. We have to look at those companies who are doing it well, come up with creative strategies, and listen to what our most-valued employees are telling us. Based on research and my own anecdotal evidence there are 8 areas that I believe you need to focus on as a leader to retain your talent. I hope these resonate with you and inspire you to work on at least one of these:
1. Create and Support an Inclusive “Family” Culture
Having a “sticky” culture where people take care of one another and truly care is crucial. Through the years that is one common thread in companies I have seen be successful in keeping their employees long-term…they are one another’s work family and it would be unthinkable to leave that family. Now with that kind of vulnerability, you must make sure there are good boundaries in place so there is no “family dysfunction”, but essentially these teams support one another through the good times and the bad.
2. Find Each Team Member’s Motivation ‘Lever’
“Money” is not the reason people stay in a job. It can be demotivating if they are paid unfairly but thinking about throwing money at an employee who is thinking of leaving is the wrong strategy. Every person has his or her levers of engagement and motivation: Fun. Authority. Development. Responsibility. Autonomy. Respect. Recognition. Challenge. Variety. Figure out what each individual needs, then figure out how to best work towards it. Meeting those individuals where they are is one of the best things you can do as a leader.
3. Emphasize Shared Non-Negotiable Core Values
From the beginning, recruit people whose values align with yours and the company. This builds a positive atmosphere and culture, which resonates with people and keeps them on board. Consult with your people, find out what they care about, and build collaborative solutions that inspire their loyalty and commitment. People like to feel included, and valued and that their contribution makes a difference. The great thing about this is that if there is a value mismatch the team will pick it up instantly and advocate to keep the shared values on track.
4. Rally Everyone Behind an Emotionally Driven Purpose
Most employees want to feel part of something bigger and to be proud of it. In addition to rewards and positive feedback, leaders can inspire others by consistently and regularly communicating a clear purpose that people connect with emotionally. It is easy to get mired in the day-to-day details; step back and connect those details to a broader vision. This means embedding it in your everyday work not just from a “marketing” perspective (posted on your website), but in daily conversations as evidence of working towards that incredibly important purpose beyond making money.
5. Change Old-School Thinking Against Flexibility and Track Results Instead
In 2022, people value flexibility more than ever. If someone is in a role that can be effectively carried out through flexible work, then offer this. Not only is this hugely rewarding for employees, but it also gives them a sense of comfort, knowing that you trust them to carry out their role effectively and manage their own time. And don’t automatically assume the younger generation will take advantage of it. Depending on what stage of life and career people are in will determine how much or how little structure or time in the office they will need or want. Track results, not “butts in chairs”.
6. Get Everyone Directly Involved in The Company
Money is the result of successful work and not a sustainable source of motivation. Other important forms of compensation include having fun, working on something great, recognizing and appreciating colleagues, and the feeling of having achieved something challenging. Coming from this mindset, rather than just exchanging their time for money, the culture should encourage an “owners’ mindset” in the employees. The employees can then be a part of building something inspiring that they can be incredibly proud of.
7. Recognize Your Team Member’s Humanity
The most meaningful way to recognize employees amidst all the difficulties we are facing in the current challenging business and social environment is to first and foremost recognize their humanity. Know the individuals on your team and recognize each employee’s unique challenges as the year unfolds. Command and control are out. Prioritize time, space, and opportunity for them to thrive and reach their goals by guiding their growth and investing in them. Compassion is one of the most overlooked leadership traits to leverage, especially after a couple of tough years.
8. Share What Each Employees Role in Your Vision for The Future Is
Inspire people to want to work with you and each other by sharing your vision and their role in it. You might be working your way through current challenges, but your eyes are on the future. Tell them about three indicators informing your vision for the future and why those give you confidence. Assure your people that they are building the foundation for a future in which all of them play a part. Be honest, specific, visionary, and hopeful. People love making a difference and being a part of something big.
The list above is near and dear to my own heart. The two that were highlighted by the clients I was working with the last two weeks were knowing one another on a personal level and ensuring people understood how relevant their contribution was to the success of the organization. This aligns nicely with Patrick Lencioni’s work on employee engagement. I would hope that you might look at the above list and rank yourself from 1 to 5 on each. Then ask yourself which one you might need to work on from now till the end of the year. If you are diligent in working on it, it will pay off…I promise! If you need more resources, please let us know, and, as always, best wishes in your leadership journey!
I remember being on the receiving end of my first 360 degree feedback about 10 years ago and I had to contain myself as I was being debriefed on the results. Needless to say the results were not great! I had a lot to work on as a leader. My coach took me through the process of focusing on one thing at a time, and now 10 years later the 360 feedback was a lot better. Behavior change is about habit and routine. How can we shed an old behavior and create a new behavior!
As facilitator of the 2-year leadership development program that I am currently running, the cohort of high performing leaders are working on their one big improvement goal that will make a big difference in their leadership and bring them to the next level as leaders. As I started working with one of my clients a few months before, we debriefed her 360 feedback results. There was nothing surprising in the results, it was just now amplified in black and white from a number of evaluators. We narrowed it down to 3 things to work on. From there we prioritized and only focused on delegating and setting boundaries for herself. As we talked through where the behavior came from, she uncovered that it was deeply engrained in her at an early age to help everyone in her family and always be busy. This was an aha moment for her. Just acknowledging where this behavior was stemming from made a huge difference in shifting her mindset to shedding her old behavior. We then talked through the WHY. Why did she feel she needed to take on all the work and say yes to all the projects and tasks. Once we thought about the behavior that she was currently portraying, we talked through the new desired behavior, which was to set her boundaries (to be able to say no without feeling bad), and delegating to others on her team. From there we discussed what would make her feel “safe” to delegate to others and set boundaries. For her, she wanted to know that the work quality would be excellent like her own work. So she decided to create time for a morning team huddle to track progress and establish space for 1:1 check-ins with team members. Once we talked through where the habit stemmed from, what assumptions she had about the work or task, then she started to test her assumptions. For this part, we decided to use a text message to remind her of her habits. The commitment on the reminder went something like this: “When I come into the office each morning, instead of working on my tasks right away, I will prioritize what only I can work on and delegate other tasks to my direct reports”. We set the reminder for every morning. She received a text at 8:00am as she walked into the office of this reminder for 28 days. I can proudly say that after 6 months of coaching and consistently working on this behavior change just making little adjustments and tweaks along the way, the new behavior and habit is starting to solidify in her daily routine.
What is your new desired habit and how will making that behavior change impact your leadership for the better?
This last week I attended the annual professional association conference that I’ve been a part of since 2008. I look forward to it every year seeing the smiling faces of so many colleagues. One of the keynotes we were lucky enough to hear from this year was award-winning reporter, editor, and producer Dwayne Bray of ESPN. Over the past 20 years, he has written and produced some of the most important sports stories. As we listened to stories about Bryant Gumbel and Michael Jordan and Tom Brady, among others…then he began to take questions.
One of the questions asked was about the lack of diversity at the top of the NFL coaching ranks. Just to be clear, 70% of the players are black, there is one black coach and no black team owners. Just today I caught the story of the football commissioner talking about this exact subject. As I listened, I became curious about the NFL as a business. As many of you know, I am a huge football fan…enough that my “girl’s” trip this January was going to see the LA Rams play the San Francisco 49ers at SoFi Stadium in LA. It was a blast and, of course, this weekend we will all be watching the Superbowl! But as I paused and put on my consultant hat…I asked myself “Within this organization called the National Football League, what do they get right or wrong?” and “How did the two high-performing teams within this organization playing in the Superbowl rise to the top?”
NFL STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
When you begin to really analyze an organization’s goals and strategy, one of the first things you want to look at it is Core Values. What you want to see are values that really resonate, aren’t stale, and that live in the language of the leaders of the organization. This is what was posted on the National Football League’s website:
1. Respect – Everyone matters. Everyone contributes. We celebrate diverse opinions and perspectives.
2. Integrity – We do the right thing when no one is looking, and even if it’s unpopular when they are looking.
3. Responsibility to Team – As a team, we support one another. We depend on one another. Everything we do has a consequence for someone else.
4. Resiliency – Everyone matters. Everyone contributes. We turn losses into lessons.
Overall, if this was an organization that I was consulting with, I would say these seem consistent with what you hear NFL leaders aspire to. But I would want to understand how they “live” in the organization by looking at policies, talent management practices, community outreach, and their strategy.
Now, just like any organization…sometimes the NFL gets it right and sometimes they get it wrong. Over time, some of the charges that people have leveled at the NFL is that it favors the owners over the players and fans (ticket prices), that they play favorites with some player and team infractions, they lack making player’s safety a priority, and their stand on player protests, drugs, and domestic violence is not where it should be. It didn’t feel right to talk about the Superbowl hype without mentioning these issues as well. These problems are something that many organizations struggle with and try to find a way to overcome.
HIGH PERFORMING TEAMS AND LEADERS
The most important part of any organization are the teams that operate within it. This Sunday we will see the top two teams in the NFL organization battle it out on the field. Those two teams have a couple of great quarterbacks in Joe Burrows for the Bengals and Matthew Stafford for the Rams. As you have probably heard from me before, leaders are about 70% of the impact on the culture of a team. So, what are some of the traits that got these two leaders to the highest stage?
As I researched these two quarterbacks there were three traits that really set each of them apart. When we work within companies, we are constantly looking for those people either already in the organization or those looking to be hired that are high potential, high performing individuals. The three traits I chose to highlight here are more hard-wired in nature vs. those developed over time. As you read through this, be thinking about what traits you bring to the table in your own roles.
SUPERBOWL LEADERS
Matthew Stafford is the quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams. He played college football at Georgia, where he was a first-team All-American, and was selected first overall by the Detroit Lions in the 2009 NFL Draft. These are the top three strengths he is bringing into the Superbowl:
1. Focused
As the Rams begins preparation for this weekend’s game with walk-through practices, Stafford is shutting out the Super Bowl hype, leaving ticket requests to his wife Kelly and the team, and keeping his mind focused solely on the game. “Dive into the football as much as you possibly can,” he said of his approach. “My biggest thing is, don’t look at the calendar. Whatever the day is, go out there and execute as best you can.” This is nothing new for Stafford. Over the years, he has always stated that his only focus is his family and football.
2. Humble
Those who are closest to leaders know what their strengths are. The Ram’s head coach, Sean McVay recently reflected on Stafford. “I think one of the unique things about Matthew as you get to know him is, he’s just always being himself. I heard Dan Orlovsky, ESPN analyst, speak about Matthew. He said he has got a great way about him when he walks into a room. You know he is THE man, but he can also be one of the guys. He’s got great confidence, but also a sense of humility that comes with that. He just has a great feel for people and that’s just who he is.” On top of that he and his wife, Kelly, have quietly given away millions of dollars to education, food banks, and social justice causes.
3. Courageous
Throughout Stafford’s entire career, he has exhibited courage and competitive spirit through his play on the field while enduring numerous injuries. A Lion’s former trainer to Stafford said “Over the course of my time in sports medicine, he stands out for always maintaining selflessness and a professional approach to game preparation and play on game day.” He isn’t afraid to put himself on the line for the team. He also isn’t afraid to speak up. Running back Cam Akers said Stafford is a great communicator and leader, and it’s not difficult to understand what he’s trying to say or what he’s trying to accomplish as a result. “He’s very clear-cut,” Akers said. “He’ll let you know what he wants you to do, or what you’re doing wrong or what you’re doing right.” Not to mention the fact that he and his wife, Kelly, mother to his four children, courageously battled her brain tumor diagnosis several years ago.
Joe Burrow is the quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals of the NFL and was the first player to win the Heisman Trophy, win the National Championship, and go 1st overall. He was chosen by the Bengals as first overall in the 2020 NFL Draft. Here are his top three strengths:
1. Calm
There is a certain image that Burrow portrays. He’s inherently cool. And by cool, not trendy or aloof. According to everything I read, he presents as entirely unselfconscious while remaining self-aware. Burrow moves through the world without fear — the Bengals made it this far even though their quarterback was sacked more than any other QB this season. He takes it upon himself to scramble and extend plays. “We never take him for granted,” his coach Zac Taylor said. “But there’s a lot of impressive things he does that maybe aren’t as impressive to us anymore because we’re just used to it, and it’s kind of his standard, his greatness. But again, we need to step back and always take a moment to appreciate what we’ve got there at that quarterback position.
2. Tough
Toughness is one of Burrow’s best leadership qualities. “I think Joe thinks deep down he’s a linebacker,” said the Bengal’s head coach Zac Taylor. “That’s what he thinks. And that’s kinda how he plays sometimes, and I gotta hold my breath when he plays that way. But that’s just the mentality he has. And he’s the son of a coach. He’s grown up around football, he’s grown up around being tough and then understanding what toughness is, how that can help you as a leader. “You don’t always have to just be the most vocal guy yelling and screaming at everybody. You lead through toughness; you lead through knowing what you’re going to do and accomplishing the task that you’re supposed to accomplish. And Joe does that. He’s our linebacker playing quarterback right now, and the team really responds and feeds off of that.”
3. Confident
It’s not uncommon for a quarterback to be confident on the field. But, Burrow is also confident and strong off the field. Burrow consistently speaks out against social and racial injustice in America. “How can you hear the pain Black people are going through and dismiss it as nothing,” he tweeted. “How can you hear the pain and respond with anything other than ‘I stand with you.’” He really does have that attitude of feeling confident in himself , taking a stand, and not really caring what others think. “It never seems like it is forced,” Sam Hubbard, defensive end, said of Burrow’s confidence. “It was always natural, just his leadership and the way he carries himself. So I think from day one, when he walked into the building, people could tell that this was our franchise quarterback.”
In the end, whether you watch the Superbowl this weekend for the football, the commercials, or the half-time show, I ask you to reframe the NFL as a business. What do you see them doing well or not so well? How do you stack up in leadership skills (not football skills!) with those high performers on the field? Is there something you need to tweak or change within your organization or team to be more effective? Someone once said, “In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are”. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and let’s go Rams!
Well, I realized in the last month that our remote working situation is not going away anytime soon. Yes, we still are seeing people in person, but we are doing so much work via Zoom that I decided I needed to maximize my workspace. Probably similar to you, I spend so much time in front of a camera! For those of you I meet with virtually you will notice a drastic difference in my office. I can’t tell you what redecorating and reorganizing my office for 2021 has done for my headspace. Prior to this I still had some hard copy files, tolerated clutter, and just kind of “made do” with inefficiencies in my workspace. I was very motivated to change knowing a little inconvenience in the short term would pay off in the long run. This is typical human behavior; people don’t make changes unless they feel that the pain of staying the same has become greater than the pain of changing. After a week of revamping my office, this Monday morning when I walked into a brand-new, amazing space, I can honestly say that I immediately felt more efficient and effective – the little dopamine receptors in my brain were like a pinball machine – happy and satisfied!
So why do most of us let our lives get in such disarray? There are probably as many answers as there are people, but for me – I love setting up organizational systems…it is maintaining them that I find difficult. Throughout the day I get pulled in so many different directions that I will neglect to electronically file something or think that I will remember to put something in my calendar. So the “shortcuts” I might believe I am able to take are all “good and well” if it only impacts me, but it doesn’t just impact me, does it? It negatively affects all of the stakeholders in my company – partners, support team, clients, vendors, and family.
Here are some facts that make the case for why each of us should spend time keeping ourselves as disciplined and organized as possible:
- Americans waste nine million hours per day searching for misplaced items, according to the American Demographics Society.
- The Wall Street Journal reported that the average U.S. executive wastes six weeks per year searching for missing information in messy desks and files.
- Cleaning professionals say that getting rid of excess clutter would eliminate 40 percent of the housework in an average home.
- Crisis purchases related to disorganization could cost as much as 15 to 20 percent of your annual budget— buying duplicates of misplaced or broken items, and last minute shopping at premium prices.
Many of our clients are constantly improving processes and performance. They might work on the “big stuff”, but not be intentional on the small habits and hacks. I thought it might be helpful to understand the brain science and a few relevant tips that might be relevant and helpful as you kick off the new year.
Keeping Area 47 In the Brain “Happy”
In his new book The Organized Mind, Daniel Levitin — a McGill University professor of psychology and behavioral neuroscience — explores how having a basic understanding of the way the brain works can help us think about organizing our homes and businesses. He and his colleagues have been studying a little sliver of brain tissue for 20 years – they call it Area 47.
If you put your fingertips on your temples, just above the outside part of your eyebrows, Area 47 is in there. It’s about the size of an almond on each side. Area 47 contains prediction circuits that are scanning and monitoring the environment and trying to figure out what’s going to happen next. What they have found is that keeping Area 47 happy is tricky. If everything in the environment is utterly predictable, most people become bored. If it’s utterly unpredictable, most people become frustrated. It stands to reason that when we feel we are working in a chaotic, disorganized environment, our Area 47 part of the brain will begin to feel a loss of predictability and, therefore, a downturn in well-being. If you have ever been in that place where you feel disorganized and unprepared, especially under time constraints, you know that it is not a good place to be. Nor do you ever want to go there again.
But, don’t worry — your favorite psychological MacGyver (wink, wink) has answers to this ongoing dilemma (some that I currently use successfully and some that I am committing publicly to start using). I never want to bore you with cookie-cutter solutions…for staying organized the list might consist of “get up earlier” or “only check your email twice a day”. Here at Steople, we try to color outside the lines a bit – hopefully, at least one of these hacks will resonate with you.
Organizational Hacks (Based in Science) That Will Make You More Effective and Efficient
1. Establish You MIT.
As soon as you sit down at your desk spend a few minutes thinking about what your Most Important Task (MIT) is for the day. It’s very simple: your MIT is the task you most want or need to get done today. In my case, I’ve tweaked it a bit so that I usually have three MITs — the three things I must accomplish today. Do I get a lot more done than three things? Of course. But the idea is that no matter what else I do today, these are the things I want to be sure of doing. So, the MIT is the first thing I do each day, in the morning, right after I have a cup of coffee to get my day started.
2. Color Code Your Schedule.
Your calendar represents how you use your most valuable asset – your time. It represents your priorities, and if used correctly, it is the best tool to help you achieve your goals. I use this system, and, at a glance, I can tell how much time I am spending in direct client services, business development, internal meetings, and project time. Additionally, by utilizing this across my team I can also look at people on my team and understand what they are focusing on daily. The most important thing here is to keep it simple, consistent, and make sure it makes sense for you.
3. Use Down Time for Education.
We all wish we had more time in our schedule to read and learn new relevant information, but few of us have that kind of time. If you’re commuting 30 minutes each way every day at the end of a year, you’ve spent 6 weeks of 8-hour days in your car. If you don’t commute and are working from home either utilize your workout time, your wait time (hairdresser, doctor, curbside pickup) for that educational pick me up. Instead of scrolling through Instagram or listening to music, try using some of that time to listen to great books on audio, excellent podcasts, and valuable TED Talks. Research shows the fastest way to double your income is to triple your rate of learning.
4. Purge Anything in Your Life That is No Longer Beautiful, Relevant, or Useful.
How often do we hang onto things that served us well at one point in our lives but are no longer relevant or useful? Or how about that out-of-date item that we paid too much for and can’t quite part with? While our attachment to these items makes sense on a certain cognitive level, by continuing to carry them around we limit our ability to invite new experiences, opportunities, and growth. The best way to get moving is to free up your space and time of the things that no longer serve you well. Remember, mess creates stress. In fact, Tennis icon Andre Agassi used to say he wouldn’t let anyone touch his tennis bag because if it got disorganized, he’d get distracted.
5. Brain Dump at the End of Every Day.
At the end of your workday, stop and write down all the clutter housed in your brain…the scientific basis for this ritual is real. The conscious mind can only pay attention to about four things at once. If you’ve got these nagging voices in your head telling you to remember to pick up almond milk on the way home and email so-and-so, they’re competing in your brain for neural resources with the stuff you’re actually trying to do at that moment, like getting a project budget completed or a blog written. Dump it and then transfer it to your to-do list.
The key to behavior change is making one small tweak at a time and it has to be one that you really believe in and are committed to. Even better, connect that change to something you are already doing (MIT and coffee in the morning), you will certainly make it a habit. Getting more disciplined and organized can lead to a better understanding of yourself, your goals and make you laser-focused on getting what you want. Crazy as it sounds, it can be a road to a better life. Let us know what your organizational “hacks” are and have a productive, disciplined week!