It happened during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season just as my son Cooper and I were settling into our seats for a Sunday morning church service.  One of those moments when everything is moving along smoothly, you’re holding it all together and then “BAM!” you crash and burn.

All eyes were on the children’s choir, who was performing a holiday hymn at the front near the pulpit.  The choir children were dressed in robes, standing on risers, and looking angelic as the sweet sound of their voices rang throughout the sanctuary.  Their parents and other church goers were smiling as they watched with hearts swelling.

Meanwhile, Cooper and I were quietly making our way to balcony seats at the back, trying not to call attention to ourselves or to the fact that we were 5 minutes late.  My hands were full as I juggled to hold my winter coat, purse, church bulletin, and a metal tin full of holiday goodies that I had prepared for the youth pastors.  I greeted a friend sitting in the row in front of us and then leaned down to unload my belongings in the space beneath my seat.  That’s when it happened.  The metal tin of sweet treats somehow slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor with a loud “CRASH!” that startled everyone around me and quickly drew attention from the sweet cherubs at the front to my debacle in the back.  And THEN the lid flew off.  It tumbled, clanked and banged as it fell down to the row in front of me and the treats from inside were tossed into the air.  It was one of those moments that happened quickly, but it felt like it lasted for an eternity.

How do you recover when something big happens in front of a group?  Whether it’s slipping and falling as you enter the building; spilling a cup of coffee on yourself in a team meeting; or realizing that your zipper is down after speaking in front of the group.  We’ve all been there in some way or another.
Here are a few things to keep in mind to get you through those times:

• Life is messy. None of us are immune—we’re all imperfect humans.  In this world filled with social media facades of perfection, we need to remember that we all stumble and fall sometimes, and IT’S OKAY.
• Don’t let yourself become mentally derailed in a moment of struggle or error.  Take a breath and practice a moment of self-compassion—acknowledging your humanity, owning what happened and then moving on.
• Feeling unglued does not mean that you need to act unglued.  Hold your head up and carry on.  People will remember and admire your poise in that moment more than the incident itself.
• Don’t take yourself too seriously—you set the tone for others by how you recover.  If you can laugh at yourself and your struggle, you will feel better and others will be more lighthearted about the incident, too.

Whether it’s in church, in a parking lot, or at the office, embarrassing moments happen to us all.  The gifts of self-compassion, grace under pressure, and use of humor are like gold in getting through these times.

Just as it was important for me to let myself off the hook after that embarrassing moment at church, it is important for us to do this as leaders when we fumble, too.  People don’t expect their leaders to be perfect.  It’s not a question of whether or not you will misstep; but, rather, a question of when it will happen and how you will recover.  How you recover sets a tone.  It also communicates to those who are watching that you are an imperfect human, like them, and that grace is given to those in such moments.