I know so many of you can relate to what I am about to say…we are looking for great talent!  It is the #1 need of our clients right now and we are in the exact same position.  We have about a 90% success rate so far and want to make sure that we keep our great record of hiring great talent alive and well.  Probably much like everyone else we are looking for people who are smart, diverse, caring, fun-loving, business-minded, entrepreneurial, team-oriented, and problem-solvers (I know what your thinking – is that it?). Well, since we talk to so many of you about your strategy, we thought we would give you a peek behind the curtain at what our talent strategy is and our thinking behind it.  It comes out of years of seeing best practices from other companies we have worked with:

1. We are highlighting that we are a great place to work in our branding.
If we don’t tell our story, others will do it for us—and it might not be the narrative we want. Having a clear job description was a prerequisite 10 years ago, but it’s time to up our game. Not only must we use our website as a platform to showcase what makes the work we do incredibly meaningful, but we must also carry our brand message across social media channels and in the stories we share in person. For example, recently we applied to the 2022 Best Places to Work, and on the question “How likely are you to recommend your organization to a friend or colleague?” we scored 100%.  We don’t highlight that enough! Doing so will paint an accurate picture of what we are about for prospective hires and let them know what it’s like to work for our company.

2. We are maximizing employee referrals.
An astonishing 96 percent of companies with 10,000 employees or more—and 80 percent of those with fewer than 100 workers—say referrals are their #1 source of new hires.  Honestly, if an employee is willing to put their reputation on the line and bring in one of their friends or family into the company, that is our best tactic! Every employee should be a recruiter for their company, but few think that way.  To fix that at Steople, we offer a large bonus check to any employee that provides a reference that is then successfully hired.  Then it makes it worth employees’ time to reach out to their contacts, rather than expecting them to do it out of the kindness of their hearts. We believe you must truly incent people, not just say “thank you”.

3. We are offering benefits based on our core values and being transparent about who we are.
We continually emphasize what sets us apart from our competitors and acknowledge that we are not the company for everyone.  For example, while we are a global company, we have smaller, more boutique offices in various regions that offer bespoke services to our clients.  Often, we have young college graduates who want to be at larger firms with Fortune 100 clients.  What I impress on them is that it depends on what they want…in a large firm they will learn a lot, but they will be a cog in the big wheel, while at our firm they will have a voice and essentially be able to “own” their own business.  Another differentiator is that, while we work hard, we have a lot of flexibility and aren’t the “road warriors” working 80+ hours a week that the big firms do.  See where I’m going?  Additionally, we are always revising our benefits package ensuring it aligns with our core values. Examples include offering a personal development budget because we are a learning culture and concierge medicine benefits, so employees can focus on their well-being.

4. We also love our committed contract workers and their need for flexibility.
Since 2009 we have utilized contractors who you would never know weren’t employees.  Their commitment and dedication are remarkable.  The pandemic has ignited the gig economy in other sectors and people are now embracing part-time talent especially since it is so difficult to find good talent or excessively costly to hire full-time employees. Since we are a service firm the nature of our work is flexible and project-oriented, so it really lends itself to part-time workers.  But what we have come to realize over time is that it isn’t the number of hours a week worked, but the commitment to the team, the clients, and excellent outcomes that is important to us.  Embracing “new” ways of working that aren’t a part of the typical employee pool is important, especially during times of low unemployment numbers when full-time talent is so difficult to find.

5. Remote work expanded our talent pool significantly.
We aren’t going to fight the relocation battle.  So much of the work we do in our firm now is either via Zoom for coaching or we travel to do in-person work with teams. We realize that talented candidates have myriad career choices, and many of them are going to opt against moving to pursue a job opportunity…in fact, over 80% of today’s workforce wants to work remotely in some fashion.  But what we also realize is that most organizations fail to effectively structure and manage remote workers which can turn a potential solution into a waste of resources as remote workers struggle to understand and complete their duties…that is something we are keenly aware could be an issue and want to guard against.  Yes, we really are organizational psychologists that are that self-aware!

Now, all we need is your help in finding our next great talent!  Send a great one our way today…
You will find a QR Code below to send on to anyone you know who might be a great fit for the Steople team!

As I sat in the passenger seat of Debbie’s car, she gave me a tour of the beloved Ft. Worth children’s hospital she had worked at for the past 43 years.  She spoke with love and respect about what she had helped build over that time.  She reminisced about the two small buildings they had started in all those years ago and pointed to the numerous blue-topped roofs and sprawling grounds they decorated with adorable, welcoming-to-children topiary landscaping.  We saw the Ronald McDonald House and the staff childcare center, as well as the numerous areas for reflection and relaxation for those suffering a physical setback.  She talked about how the pandemic trauma of the last two years had impacted the culture they had built and even threatened to crumble it.

Regardless, as we pulled into the parking garage, she greeted the parking attendant warmly and asked how he was feeling, saying to me, that he had just recovered from surgery.  As we strolled the brightly colored hallways, Debbie chatted and hugged her way across the campus.  She would quickly point out those individuals who had been with the hospital for decades and were so dedicated to the cause of helping children heal that they wouldn’t think of leaving until retirement.  During this tour, I fell in love with this new hospital client of ours and told Debbie how inspired I was to be a part of their purpose on this planet.

The whole experience was remarkable and seeing so many long-term employees reminded me of another group I had worked with the week before who had recently been acquired by one of my clients.  During our joint company strategic planning session, we were discussing the “talent war,” and we all listened intently as two of the owners of the acquired company talked about the team that became family over the years.  They had started at the age of 16 working in the lumber business and were set to retire from that same company in the next 5 or so years.  They talked about others in the business who grew up together, got through school, enjoyed fishing trips as a team, went to one another’s weddings, and celebrated when they had children. We are talking retention of 31…28…19 years, which are unbelievable numbers in today’s world.

So how is this possible and do we have any chance of recreating this in today’s job market?  Some will say “No way, today’s workforce isn’t nearly as loyal, and it is not realistic.”  But is that true?  Or can we at least aim to be a significant part of an employee’s work history?  I believe we can.

Develop a Great Retention Initiative
Many employers are no doubt wishing that the Great Resignation, where employees have been quitting their jobs in record numbers since the Spring of 2021, would suddenly become a very different trend: the Great Retention. But research suggests that many workers remain confident about their prospects in the current hiring market, in fact, 41% of respondents are currently looking or plan to look for a new role in the next six months.  This means employers must still be vigilant about the risk of top performers walking out the door.

This, in my opinion, is the number one issue, outside of finding talent, for companies today.  Every single coaching or consulting conversation I have includes the current challenges with talent.  And it’s not getting better anytime soon.  We have to look at those companies who are doing it well, come up with creative strategies, and listen to what our most-valued employees are telling us. Based on research and my own anecdotal evidence there are 8 areas that I believe you need to focus on as a leader to retain your talent.  I hope these resonate with you and inspire you to work on at least one of these:

1. Create and Support an Inclusive “Family” Culture
Having a “sticky” culture where people take care of one another and truly care is crucial.  Through the years that is one common thread in companies I have seen be successful in keeping their employees long-term…they are one another’s work family and it would be unthinkable to leave that family.  Now with that kind of vulnerability, you must make sure there are good boundaries in place so there is no “family dysfunction”, but essentially these teams support one another through the good times and the bad.

2. Find Each Team Member’s Motivation ‘Lever’
“Money” is not the reason people stay in a job.  It can be demotivating if they are paid unfairly but thinking about throwing money at an employee who is thinking of leaving is the wrong strategy. Every person has his or her levers of engagement and motivation: Fun. Authority. Development. Responsibility. Autonomy. Respect. Recognition. Challenge. Variety. Figure out what each individual needs, then figure out how to best work towards it. Meeting those individuals where they are is one of the best things you can do as a leader.

3. Emphasize Shared Non-Negotiable Core Values
From the beginning, recruit people whose values align with yours and the company. This builds a positive atmosphere and culture, which resonates with people and keeps them on board. Consult with your people, find out what they care about, and build collaborative solutions that inspire their loyalty and commitment. People like to feel included, and valued and that their contribution makes a difference.  The great thing about this is that if there is a value mismatch the team will pick it up instantly and advocate to keep the shared values on track.

4. Rally Everyone Behind an Emotionally Driven Purpose
Most employees want to feel part of something bigger and to be proud of it. In addition to rewards and positive feedback, leaders can inspire others by consistently and regularly communicating a clear purpose that people connect with emotionally. It is easy to get mired in the day-to-day details; step back and connect those details to a broader vision. This means embedding it in your everyday work not just from a “marketing” perspective (posted on your website), but in daily conversations as evidence of working towards that incredibly important purpose beyond making money.

5. Change Old-School Thinking Against Flexibility and Track Results Instead
In 2022, people value flexibility more than ever. If someone is in a role that can be effectively carried out through flexible work, then offer this. Not only is this hugely rewarding for employees, but it also gives them a sense of comfort, knowing that you trust them to carry out their role effectively and manage their own time.  And don’t automatically assume the younger generation will take advantage of it.  Depending on what stage of life and career people are in will determine how much or how little structure or time in the office they will need or want.  Track results, not “butts in chairs”.

6. Get Everyone Directly Involved in The Company
Money is the result of successful work and not a sustainable source of motivation. Other important forms of compensation include having fun, working on something great, recognizing and appreciating colleagues, and the feeling of having achieved something challenging. Coming from this mindset, rather than just exchanging their time for money, the culture should encourage an “owners’ mindset” in the employees.  The employees can then be a part of building something inspiring that they can be incredibly proud of.

7. Recognize Your Team Member’s Humanity
The most meaningful way to recognize employees amidst all the difficulties we are facing in the current challenging business and social environment is to first and foremost recognize their humanity. Know the individuals on your team and recognize each employee’s unique challenges as the year unfolds.  Command and control are out.  Prioritize time, space, and opportunity for them to thrive and reach their goals by guiding their growth and investing in them. Compassion is one of the most overlooked leadership traits to leverage, especially after a couple of tough years.

8. Share What Each Employees Role in Your Vision for The Future Is
Inspire people to want to work with you and each other by sharing your vision and their role in it. You might be working your way through current challenges, but your eyes are on the future. Tell them about three indicators informing your vision for the future and why those give you confidence. Assure your people that they are building the foundation for a future in which all of them play a part. Be honest, specific, visionary, and hopeful.  People love making a difference and being a part of something big.

The list above is near and dear to my own heart.  The two that were highlighted by the clients I was working with the last two weeks were knowing one another on a personal level and ensuring people understood how relevant their contribution was to the success of the organization.  This aligns nicely with Patrick Lencioni’s work on employee engagement.  I would hope that you might look at the above list and rank yourself from 1 to 5 on each.  Then ask yourself which one you might need to work on from now till the end of the year.  If you are diligent in working on it, it will pay off…I promise!  If you need more resources, please let us know, and, as always, best wishes in your leadership journey!

As I crossed the street in downtown Melbourne with my fellow directors, I reveled in the idle chit-chat I had been missing for 3 years.  I was back in the Land Down Under for our annual Strategic Planning Meeting…out of Zoom Room Purgatory!  As we walked, we randomly talked about the rich history of Italian influence on coffee in Australia, the difference in men’s dress from Sydney to Melbourne, and the politics of the most recently elected prime minister.  How much I had missed my peers and the banter we always had back and forth! We were all energized because we were going to a bonus in-person client event.  This one was special because it was taking place on a Tuesday at lunch at the RACV (Royal Automobile Club of Victoria) with a handful of Aussie clients and colleagues to simply connect and discuss what was weighing heaviest on their minds.

As I entered the venue, it was absolutely gorgeous with antique cars, beautiful furniture, exquisite chandeliers, and elegant waitstaff! We were served appetizers and adult beverages as we were waiting to be seated.  Upon being introduced to people we had not met, we all commented how decadent it felt for a Tuesday afternoon…and, in some ways in our minds, it was a celebration of the return to us getting back to in-person events.  I met several outstanding professionals in the retail, financial, hospitality/food service, government, and not-for-profit sectors.  We were all seated and after putting in our lunch orders we got down to business.  There was no agenda and the question posed was “What are the current wicked problems in your business to be solved?”  It was amazing how similar the themes were, and I have captured them here, hoping that they resonate with you (you are not alone), dear readers.

Current Pressing Problems

What is going on from my point of view?  For many skilled, professional workers, the historical changes to their lives and the way they work over the past two years have essentially flattened Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  In the past, job security, decent compensation, and at least a tangible opportunity were the price of entry for people coming into organizations. Now a massive number of employees not only want to feel invested in the work they do, but they also want to see that their employer is invested in the same things they value and believe in. Employees, at the very least, want to:

• Feel valued, have a voice, and have the potential to grow
• Have a sense of belonging among caring, trusted, and diverse-thinking colleagues
• Trust that the work that is being done has purpose and meaning
• Have the flexibility to integrate work with their personal lives

Now, none of this comes as a surprise to any of you, I know.  But, what strategic initiatives have you put in place to address these in your core ideology, hiring practices, employee benefits, DEI work, leadership programs, and ability to build high-performing teams?  With some research on best practices and input from your employee base, you can create strategic initiatives to begin to address these issues.  Yes, it takes time and, just like you, sometimes I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back, but that really is what leadership is. Without the obstacles the journey wouldn’t be as sweet, would it?

2. How can we enhance our employee value proposition (EVP) so it resonates?  One of the clients who was sitting at our table spoke at length about the cultural work their company had done in the past year.  They talked about how important creating a clear core purpose was to establish a great culture. The result was the team rallying around such a deep, important reason for being in existence and that driving performance and engagement within the organization. This conversation led to the group agreeing that previously, having one clear employee value proposition was enough.  Not so now.  The great organizations ask themselves what can we do to make people feel loved and safe?  The employee value proposition is not a one size fits all and there must be several.  Companies must listen and realize what is important to the different groups.

What is going on from my point of view?  With so much riding on escaping “the Great Resignation” unscathed, employers are starting to realize that they must start from scratch and create a strong, multi-dimensional EVP that fully delivers on their company’s employee-experience promise. One that fuels a culture where everyone can bring their full range of talents, feel included and valued, and do great work in a great environment.  In order to have a really great EVP, these are 3 of the things our clients are including in successful ones:

• Your EVP must be linked to your purpose. People are increasingly looking to join organizations that have a greater purpose beyond profitability. Ensure your EVP clearly articulates this purpose and connects to the employee experience and the role your people have in helping your organization achieve the greater good.
• You must foster a culture of belonging, flexibility, and growth. How does your organization facilitate connection and inclusion? How does it help people learn and grow? How does it accommodate everyone’s unique needs? These are questions people ask in both their job searches and their own organizations and should be outlined in your EVP.  This absolutely relates to our #1  issue above!
• You must look inside first and create a movement. Involving your people in the creation process is critical to ensuring your EVP is both real and a little bit aspirational. Soliciting feedback and giving your people the opportunity to show and tell the world about who you are as a company is one of the most powerful ways to bring your EVP to life.

Warren Buffet talks about a Value Proposition is a moat that separates you from your competitors.  It is tough to cross and get to your castle.  In other words, what sets you apart as an employer that would be hard to replicate by other businesses in your sector?  That is your EVP…and you can’t just rely on one.  You have to have several that address the diversity of your employee base.  Don’t you want to be the employer of choice?  It is such hard work!

3. How Can We Convince Leaders That They Have to Lead Differently?  The final theme that jumped out at me as I sat at this luncheon with a room full of incredibly smart, thoughtful people had to do with leadership. Of course, a subject near and dear to my heart. I don’t have to tell you that the pandemic changed leadership forever. It started with CEOs I know having weeks of sleepless nights putting together contingency plans and solving problems for an event that few predicted and even fewer prepared for. If their thinking didn’t flip on its head during this time, then they are being left behind. They had to pivot their thinking on the hybrid work environment, how to hold remote people accountable, how to shift away from the top down, how to create psych safety in a scary environment, how to influence people to get into leadership roles, and how to get more comfortable with technology in a split second…among 100 other 360 degree pivots. We all did. But, what many of us are facing now is not just the logistics of leadership, but also the mindset and that is what this table of high-level thinkers was grappling with.

What is going on from my point of view?  Remember prior to the world shutting down when we used to talk about VUCA?  Wow!  We had no idea what we were even capable of then!  We have come so far, yet we can still start to drift towards old ways of thinking.  The three things I am seeing will not revert back and we need to help leaders need to rally around are:

• Being agile because the ground is always shifting.  In today’s world leaders are more exposed now than they have ever been before and they are feeling it.  They are having to make rapid and (somewhat) informed decisions amid so much uncertainty.  Gone are the days when leaders could make decisions from muscle memory and their years of experience – using the power of their high-performing teams to co-create solutions is key now more so than ever.  Being able to have other peers that you can discuss some of these challenges might be one way to get innovative in this space.
• A human approach to staff that puts people first.  Leadership, more than ever, is about creating the conditions in which your people can thrive and perform at their best.  Leaders need to be aware of their own biases towards different ways of working, re-examine various populations of workers that have been underutilized in the past, and role-modeling the right behaviors to break the culture of “having to be present”, while also taking accountability for re-assessing how current policies and processes will disadvantage certain types of workers.  Being able to conduct professional audits and/or engage in coaching to advance your approach to leadership is definitely indicated here.
• The ability to build inclusive and connected hybrid teams.  One of the biggest needs we are hearing about right now is being able to manage remote teams.  Communication, collaboration, innovation, and building relationships with each other are such a challenge.  While some sales teams have worked this way for years, other teams are just now getting up to speed and, while there are benefits, are also seeing disconnection and lower job satisfaction.  There is a myth out there that the younger generation doesn’t want to come back.  To be honest, we are seeing the opposite – they miss that social interaction!  So getting comfortable with technology and potentially investing in more in-person work pods or off-site opportunities are some examples of the new ways of thinking that leaders are tasked with.

Why Steople?

What was remarkable about sitting around this table was the depth of the conversation at hand.  This was a group of individuals that did not know one another before this event, but they absolutely opened up and discussed some of the most pressing pain points in their own companies freely.  We ended the lunch by asking them what they sought out of a partnership with a company like us.  It warmed my heart that what Steople on the other side of the planet brought was insight, perspective, and a richness of resources.  Partnering with skilled professionals who brought both science and practical business knowledge to accelerate learning and change throughout each organization had been invaluable.  Our value proposition is there for you – deep relationships, research of best practices, and pragmatic solutions.  As always, we are here for you and your leadership journey.  We want nothing more than to see you succeed!

Last week I got to do something I haven’t done in over two years.  I finally made it back to the movie theater!  I’m an 80’s kid so getting to see Top Gun: Maverick was such a treat.  There was one scene that really touched me.  Val Kilmer’s character told Tom Cruises character “You need to let go.”  Now, I’m not giving any plot line away here, but the reason it had such an impact on me is that I feel like this has been the story of my life lately. Letting go of any fears I have about scaling the business. Letting go of a way of life with my youngest going off to college.  Letting go of being in the middle of every client engagement.  Letting go of well-ingrained habits that are negatively impacting my health. Letting go of relationships that don’t serve me. Letting go of long-held beliefs and assumptions.  Letting go of needing to make everyone happy.

But, I must admit this scenario isn’t always the case for me. I don’t always take the time to acknowledge what is going on inside of me or even in the world around me. Life gets in the way, and it is incredibly easy just to keep busy and stay content with the status quo. I chose to write this week on a subject that I struggle with because while we strive to help others grow, we aren’t without fault, of course.  . At Steople we believe that we should be walking the talk – that means everyone should constantly be stretching in their leadership abilities in order to become more effective. For me, the last few years have included always having “One Big Thing” that I was working on.  Some of these have included not being a bottleneck, slowing down while communicating more, implementing more automation to improve processes, and handing off work.  But, one of the biggest ones I have struggled with is acknowledgment.  I am a person who will always thank you, but not always remembers to acknowledge the good work.  I am a person that is fairly high on emotional intelligence, but not good at slowing down and acknowledging someone’s low performance.  See how one type of acknowledgment is positive and one is more negative?

Acknowledgment is defined both as displaying the appreciation for something good and as expressing the existence of something negative. Often, they go hand in hand.  Being an intentional leader who can acknowledge the good (for example, other’s achievements) will demonstrate that you are focused on results and able to share the credit. Being an intentional leader who can acknowledge the bad (for example, your own mistakes) will demonstrate that you are responsible, honest, and relatable.  If that is the case, why do many of us struggle with acknowledgment?

Underlying Reasons Why Leaders Don’t Acknowledge the Obvious

It is important to understand why people aren’t willing or able to acknowledge the good and the bad.  While understanding the “why” doesn’t solve the problem, it does shed light on others and/or our own behaviors.  Understanding what those underlying causes might be will allow us to have more grace with others and name what is really going on “under the hood” as we try to grow past our own old triggers. The following are some of the possibilities:

1. If an individual is competitive—because they need constantly to prove themselves—then explicitly saying they are wrong or paying tribute to another’s achievements might make them feel as though they’re admitting inferiority, ineptitude, or defeat.
2. If an individual was “recognition-deprived” when growing up, praising another might make them feel uneasy because they have been so accustomed to looking at things with a very critical eye.
3. If a person thinks that another’s accomplishments and contributions are no more than what ought to be expected from them, they may not regard such acts as even worthy of acknowledgment.
4. If a person believes that lauding another for their achievements might go to the recipient’s head—that is, lead them to become conceited or egotistical—then they may intentionally withhold recognition.
5. If there is a culture of retribution where people have a need to “cut and cover” themselves to survive, they may be more likely to either throw someone else under the bus and/or not even acknowledge their own part in the problem.
6. If an individual isn’t very motivated by acknowledgment themselves, it might not even occur to them that slowing down enough to recognize a person’s efforts and accomplishments might be in order.

The Importance of Acknowledging The Good

There is one simple action that can dramatically increase any leader’s success in gaining the support and engagement of his or her team members – acknowledge great work. That means calling out excellent accomplishments by your employees or peers right away, authentically, and in consistent increments.

Research by Harvard Business Review article involving 980 respondents from companies with more than 1,000 employees, suggests a special connection between acknowledgment and job satisfaction. Seven out of 10 employees who report they’ve received some form of appreciation from their team members say they’re happy with their jobs. Without that recognition, just 39% say they’re satisfied. And frequency plays a big role. Among employees who were called out for great work in the past month, 80% feel fulfilled at work. That number declines sharply with time: 75% satisfied (recognized in the past 1-2 months); 71% (past 3-5 months); 69% (past 6-12 months); 51% (past 1-2 years); 42% (more than 2 years ago).

We don’t think you have to worry about creating a specific “program” to acknowledge those good things you see happening in the workplace.  Simply remember 4 things: Don’t wait. Be specific. Be genuine. Treat employees like snowflakes…okay, I may need to explain that last one…the idea is that every employee responds differently to recognition. Many appreciate public praise. Others cringe if they’re made the center of attention. Know your team and tailor your acknowledgment so it produces the greatest impact for everyone.

The Importance of Acknowledging the Bad

Reasonable people realize when a mistake has been made and often, owning up to it solves the problem. Not owning up to it adds fuel and ignites a problem you may not be able to contain later. When a delivery is late, when your service was off the mark, when you completely forget an important deadline or phone call, don’t try to deny it. As soon as you realize it’s you, or your team, that’s dropped the ball, don’t make excuses.

Everyone makes mistakes. Literally everyone. Odds are good if mistakes are not typical for you, people will be appreciative and lenient when you come at them with honesty. You’ll also build up trust because everyone knows how hard it is to come forward and own your errors. Be courageously transparent and people will notice.

Believe it or not, some great companies celebrate mistakes internally with the intention of learning from them. Online giant Etsy gives out an annual award—a real three-armed sweater— to an employee who’s made an error. This demonstrates that accidents are acknowledged as a source of data, not something embarrassing to shy away from. The sweater goes to whoever made the most surprising error, not the worst one, as a reminder to examine the gap between how things are expected to happen and how they do.  And it absolutely improves innovation and decision-making in the process because people are not afraid to make mistakes!

What About the Ugly?

Now, as you know I am a big advocate of transparency as a leader, so I am going to say something here that might not be very popular.  What I’ve seen over the last several years in working with clients is that another responsibility of a leader is to go to bat for your team.  A leader in touch with their team’s capabilities, workload, intent, and environment can “protect” their team from the Ugly at times.  This might mean standing up to their board, it might mean not delivering bad news prematurely, or it might mean taking up for one of their team members over an established relationship with a client or vendor.  Now, that shouldn’t be the go-to or begin to become an unhealthy dynamic, but being courageously authentic and sometimes standing in the line of fire for your team can be key in certain situations.

As a leader, it is necessary for you to go above and beyond to acknowledge both the positives and the negatives…and being courageous in the meantime.  Being consistent in this will pay dividends in building your reputation as an effective leader.  Not to mention, being able to navigate the positive/negative ratio builds your credibility.

Recently, I have been reading about how important rituals are in our lives.  It’s easy to think of rituals as something nice to have, something simply pleasant or decorative, but in fact, rituals honor our values, establish a firm foundation, and help us become the kind of person we want to be. If we’re not intentional about choosing what rituals we want, it’s easy for us to be shaped by the rituals the world gives us: for example, the endless ritual of completing an Inbox Zero or the ritual of grabbing a pricey cup of coffee on the way to work.  Being intentional in our rituals is incredibly important to our well-being!

Everyday life is stressful and full of uncertainty. Having a special time of the year when we know exactly what to do, the way we’ve always done it provides a comfortable sense of structure, control, and stability.  Rituals can help us enter into a new frame of mind; each ritual can be like a little bridge that we cross into a different way of thinking. From reciting blessings to raising a glass to make a toast, to ordering in Thai food on Christmas eve, holiday traditions are replete with rituals.  Many of those rituals may of course also be performed at other times throughout the year. But during the holiday season, they become more meaningful. They’re held in a special place (the home or church or office) and with a special group of people (our closest relatives, colleagues, and friends). For this reason, more people travel during the year-end holidays than at any other time of the year. Gathering together from far-flung locations helps people leave their worries behind, and at the same time lets them reconnect with time-honored family/friend traditions.

Laboratory experiments and field studies show that the structured and repetitive actions involved in such rituals can act as a buffer against anxiety by making our world a more predictable place.  Rituals can strengthen and spotlight the values, intentions, and experiences you have chosen to live by; they and can be useful when we are trying to figure out what is important…those that still serve us well need to be carved out and protected.  We have been robbed of this connection in the past two years.  I truly believe that now, even more so than in years past, we crave our traditions and miss being able to participate in so many of our time-honored rituals.  During this holiday season,  I want you to take note of your family rituals and understand that, if they anchor you, align with your values, and bring you joy,  these rituals will help bolster you in 2022.

As each of you celebrates the holidays in your own special way, we wanted to let you in on some of our Steople staff’s early memories and rituals.  We hope you know how much we appreciate each and every one of you.  We wish you and your family a holiday season full of peace, rest, and meaningful rituals!

‘ATTA GIRL!’ WAS ALL I NEEDED
By Cristina L. Filippo, Ph.D. – Founder | CEO

Wow!  What a powerful memory this picture brings back!  Being in a large family (I was the oldest of 6 kids) growing up, the holidays were always eventful!  I remember the silver tinsel on the Christmas tree, the nativity scene that each of us would play with (and sometimes fight over), and the race down the stairs to see what Santa would have brought us.  Growing up in the ’70s and ’80’s meant long road trips in our woody station wagon,  with no seat belts, through the cold winter weather to travel to see my grandparents during the holidays.

In the year 1975, my Grandparents had moved from where my dad grew up in Van Wert Ohio, to settle in El Paso, Texas.  I remember driving up and my grandparents coming out to greet us.  My dad always had his big camera in tow and immediately took this picture in the street where we parked.  Of course, back then you couldn’t “see how you like the picture” before you moved on…you saw the picture when they were developed weeks later.  It’s part of the charm of the picture – seeing the looks of happiness and travel stress at the same time.

Of course, I loved both my grandparents, but my grandpa has always held a special place in my heart.  He was a child of the depression, had a 6th grade education, was a boxer in the Navy, always drove a Buick, loved to read the paper every morning, and heavily invested in commercial property…as a result, he did very well for himself.  He knew everyone and was incredibly busy but spent as much time with me just hanging out and doing nothing in particular. Now my grandpa could come across as a little grumpy to most, but to me, he was my buddy.  During my visits, we would go on walks, climb trees, balance on cement block walls, jump rope, and play jacks.  During our adventures, my grandpa would introduce me to his friends, talk about the weather, and encourage me to be the best I could be.  He loved seeing me active and happy and, most importantly for that time in history, he treated me the same as my younger brother.

To this day, I can still hear him saying  “Atta Girl!” essentially always encouraging me to be as big and strong as possible even though I was just a little 7-year old girl with huge dreams.  In fact, I would venture to say that he was one of my biggest fans!  Having my grandpa believe that I could do anything, encouraging all of my crazy adventures, and looking at me with such pride was instrumental in making me who I am today.  How I miss those long walks and talks during the holidays!

A RELUCTANT SANTA CLAUS 
By Isaias Centeno. – Chief Strategy Officer

Years ago when I was in college and in need of a temporary job between semesters. I happened upon an ad in the paper looking for Santas and stopped to consider it.  I wish I could say that I was interested because of the joy I might bring to the tiny tots that would tell me their secret Christmas list.  But, when I saw the ad I was definitely in it for the cash!  I decided to fight the LA traffic and head to the local mall to put in an application.  When I arrived, I definitely knew I was out of my element…Santas everywhere, kids going crazy, parents were frazzled.  Definitely not my scene and way out of my comfort zone.  What was I thinking?

After taking a look at the ads one more time and realizing I had limited choices, I shook hands with the guy offering me the job and got suited up.  I had envisioned focusing on the scratchy beard or how hot the suit was or getting impatient with parents…but, unbelievably, none of this happened.  As I stuffed my red suit, cinched the belt, and put on my Santa hat, something magic happened!  Walking to the big Santa chair with elves in tow, I became a star in the eyes of these children.  I listened to children talk about the toys they wanted, saw them advocate for their siblings, heard stories of the tough year their parents had, and best of all…how much they loved and believed in Santa.  I totally enjoyed the next two weeks and it still is one of my favorite Christmas memories.  What did I learn from that?  Turns out, getting out of your comfort zone and throwing yourself into a new role can have a big payoff!

I’M SO GRATEFUL!
By Claudio Toyama – Principal Consultant

This picture was taken at Christmas the year I got divorced. I wasn’t feeling much like celebrating as the divorce was so recent but I focused my attention on my daughter and on her joy. As I focused on her happiness, I started feeling extremely grateful for having such a wonderful human being by my side.
This moment reminded me that we have the choice of what to focus on, even when we are feeling down or sad.

From that moment on, I have been counting all of the blessings that I have in my life and it’s funny how when you are grateful, life tends to send you more of what you are grateful for.  This little Christmas lesson continues to inspire me!

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS: TWO CULTURES…ONE HOME
By Layla Bokhari, Ph.D. – Senior Consultant

Growing up in two different cultures taught me to be agile and open-minded. As a kid, I grew up in Saudi Arabia before moving to the United States. We celebrated Christmas and Eid. The two events are significant celebrations in each culture. My mother introduced her American traditions with the family and meshed them with my father’s Saudi traditions. I was used to seeing my dad in the traditional Saudi wear and our home filled with friends and family during Christmas. We decorated the Christmas tree and celebrated the true meaning of the holiday. I also remember celebrating Eid with family and friends in our home with good food like the traditional Bukhari rice with lamb and delicious desserts like Kanafe and dates along with Arabic coffee.

My mother always said, “Home is where the heart is! As long as you have family, friends, and laughter, you can thrive in any country”. Even after moving back to the United States in my teens, my mother kept our traditions of making a great Christmas dinner for the family and cooking the traditional Bukhari rice stuffing for the turkey.  My brothers’ family, sisters’ family, and my kids and I still continue this tradition to this day. We top it off with family stories, Arabic deserts, sitting around the sparkling Christmas tree reminiscing about the past and dreaming of the future.  Moving back and forth from the Arab culture to the American culture throughout my life has taught me to be agile, open-minded, and flexible.

CHRISTMAS MAGIC FOR A SANTA
By Kristi Gifford  – Client Account Manager

What a surprise to have Santa come to your home for a special visit!  I was 4 years old and living in England when Santa first picked our home for a “drop in” visit.  You can imagine the excitement I felt by the size of the smile on my face.  The second time (yes, 2nd time!) that Santa made a surprise visit to our home was 12 years later in Oklahoma.  My family was sitting around the dinner table on Dec 24, 1984 having our special Christmas Eve dinner.  Our longtime family friends were joining us that year with their 4 year old twin girls.  In the middle of eating and sharing stories, our front door suddenly opened and in walked Santa… AGAIN!!  He walked right in with a hearty “HO HO HO.” He gave each one of us candy canes, wished us a Merry Christmas, and disappeared back out the front door.  There were smiles all around, and the twins were over the moon!

The adults looked at each other with a knowing, grateful smile for the person that made the effort to ensure we had Christmas magic happen again.  Quickly, it became apparent that none of us were going to claim it.  The truth was that nobody actually knew that Santa was going to pay us a visit.  How was that possible?!  It took a couple weeks before we discovered the truth behind the visit and the alternate identity of our mystery holiday guest.  The smile on my face, nearly 50 years later, looks close to the same as the one of 4 year old me.  Unfortunately, we didn’t capture the magic of Santa’s visit in 1984 on film as our phones were still attached to the wall rather than our hips back then. 😉

I always feel blessed by the small, thoughtful actions of others like my “drop in” Santas.  Kind words, small gestures, unexpected compliments, and special moments still mean more than anything to me.  As a leader, remember that giving your unscheduled full attention, asking a follow-up question about a loved one (showing you WERE actually listening to them), or showing genuine appreciation may be exactly the “Christmas magic” your team needs.  May the magic of the season find you this year!

EMBRACE THE IMPERFECT AND FIND THE FUN!
By Susan Kight – Executive Assistant

Every year since my children were infants, I have tried to create the “perfect” holiday photo of our “not-so-perfect” family.  I can remember feeling overwhelmed by the thought of getting all of us cleaned up and dressed up in coordinating outfits that were pressed and wrinkle free. I also remember the stress of trying to keep everyone in a good mood and happy to be there while saying “cheeeese” over and over again.  It was never a simple task!

In 2012 I decided I’d had enough. I was tired of directing (and re-directing) children, telling them to “smile” and “sit up straight,” and by the end, wondering if I even got a single quality shot. I finally told myself that I would no longer let perfectionism drain the joy and fun out of my holiday…especially when it came to holiday photos.  This was the year I would embrace good enough and accept my family just as it was….beautifully imperfect….AND it would be fun!

We would throw on some ugly Christmas sweaters and do whatever we wanted to do in front of the camera. It wasn’t easy at first because I knew I had to let go of the magazine quality, flawlessly staged family photo. I had to recognize that wasn’t how real life was then or even now.  Most of the time, my teen’s attention was on her phone, my seven-year-old was whining for a snack and my husband just wanted to take a nap. This was my family and seeing them all sitting up straight, smiling and looking natural in a perfect family photo, while impressive, just wasn’t a reality.

So, letting go in 2012 was taking a photo of us being us. Our photo shows my husband just sitting back and relaxing, my oldest looking annoyed with phone in hand, our middle daughter being her positive cheesy self, and our youngest embarrassingly picking her nose. I must say that it is a perfect snapshot of our family and what life was really like for us during that time. I have no regrets when it comes to that photo. I smile when I look at it and I am reminded to never again let perfectionism rob me of a joyful holiday experience.  So may I remind you to find the fun by embracing the imperfect and the ordinary. Enjoy your family this holiday season!