I recently engaged with an HR professional from a high-profile company, exploring the prospect of working together. I got word that the answer was no. It seemed like the perfect fit!  The disappointment lingered as I walked out of my office and wondered out loud to no one in particular, “I don’t lose – how did that happen?” Frustration set in, and I spent the next couple of days pondering ways to make it happen.  I’m assuming you are a lot like me in thinking that if I put enough time and effort into something I can influence outcomes.  It has worked for me in the past, so my brain tends to go down that neural pathway!

That same week a conversation with my coach (yes, I definitely practice what I preach) made me stop in my tracks and reflect. She astutely remarked, “Cristina, this was a blow to your ego, not your core purpose.” I grappled with the truth in her words, questioning whether it truly was a dent to my ego. I slowed down and questioned whether the desire to collaborate with that specific company stemmed from a genuine appreciation for their core purpose or merely the allure of NYC and a high-profile team. The answer was uncomfortable and one I’m not proud to admit; it was the latter. My inner achievement addict had veered me toward a path misaligned with my values.

Later, that weekend, I went to the movies, where “Killer of the Flower Moon” captivated me. Growing up in Oklahoma, witnessing the impactful work of tribes play in leading their sovereign nation stirred a deep resonance within me.  On the journey home, reflections on the call with the HR director intertwined with the tribal resilience on the big screen. It became evident—I needed to realign with the essence of why I embarked on this journey in the first place. My focus had to shift from the allure of achievement to the fundamental motivation of serving companies with compelling core purposes.

I did find out that the “no” to the work was due to the CEO being relieved of his duties and a search for a new CEO commencing. The CEO’s replacement and a temporary halt to the work was inconsequential. The roadblock was the Universe looking out for me, safeguarding me from a venture that would have kept me busy but devoid of inspiration. It was a pivotal moment of course correction, a return to rethinking my efforts and not “pushing” into areas that aren’t even aligned with what I am trying to achieve.

In a world that glorifies achievement and busyness, where the default response to “How are you?” is often “Busy,” or if you are honest and talk about what’s not going well…there isn’t a lot of time or interest to unpack it because everyone has so much on their plate as well.  I believe it’s time to question the narrative we’ve embraced. The prevailing belief that success requires relentless upstream effort, pushing against the current, and making things happen. And if you put all of the things you need to get done on a list and just barrel through them, success will come. Truth is that this significant costs to our health and well-being. What if there’s a more sustainable approach? What if we could achieve more by doing less?  What if the answer to getting more of what we want isn’t addition at all, but subtraction?

To-Do, To-Do, To-Do
As it turns out, evidence supports that if we want to ramp up our productivity and happiness, we should actually be doing less. David Rock, author of Your Brain at Work, found that we’re truly focused on our work a mere six hours per week, which starkly contrasts our collective buy-in to the 40-hour workweek. When you stop doing the things that make you feel busy but aren’t getting you results (and are draining you of energy), then you end up with more than enough time for what matters and a sense of peace and spaciousness that constant activity has kept outside your reach.

As people with full lives — kids, careers, friends, passions, logistics, and more — how can we apply the wisdom of doing less to give ourselves more time and alleviate stress without jeopardizing our results?  We need to identify what not to do. But this determination can’t be random. It must be methodical and evidence-based.

For those who are still not convinced that doing less will result in actually getting more done, consider this: it’s not about actually having less on your plate, it’s about allowing your mind to focus on one task at a time, so that you can actually complete things fully and well. From there, you can build momentum to go onto the next task. Overloading your to-do list and overwhelming your brain is not forcing you to perform faster, it’s ensuring that you’re accomplishing less than you would if you only gave yourself a few tasks per day.

Rethinking Effort: Upstream vs. Downstream
Let’s look at upstream efforts and what that means.  Upstream effort is characterized by pushing against the current, striving tirelessly, and often feeling the weight of burnout. This type of effort is commonly rewarded by society, reflecting qualities such as hard work and determination. However, despite external validation, upstream effort may not always translate into a sense of genuine progress. It can be akin to swimming against the current, where the struggle may not yield the desired outcomes or a fulfilling sense of achievement.

While upstream effort might be externally praised, it can come at a cost. The relentless pursuit of goals without considering the broader context may lead to burnout, decreased well-being, and a lack of fulfillment. Working against the current can also result in inefficiencies, as the energy expended may not yield proportional results. Moreover, a singular focus on upstream effort may cause individuals to overlook the importance of the journey and personal well-being.

Conversely, downstream effort involves rowing with the current, adopting a more fluid approach to goals, and placing emphasis on the journey rather than solely on the destination. Working downstream entails maintaining a loose grip on objectives, allowing oneself to be guided by the natural flow of circumstances. The key to downstream effort is finding a balance between exerting effort and embracing a state of ease. This approach often leads to a more sustainable and fulfilling work experience.

Working downstream means aligning one’s efforts with the natural flow of circumstances. It involves being attuned to the environment and adapting to the rhythm of the situation. When working downstream, individuals may experience a sense of flow—a state of complete immersion and focus where tasks are performed effortlessly. This flow state is associated with heightened creativity, productivity, and overall job satisfaction.

Reflection Exercise
So, let’s put these two concepts together – focusing on things that really matter and spending the majority of our time in downstream efforts.  There is a surprisingly simple exercise to decide what activities on their to-do list need the most focus.  Here’s how it works:

Step 1: This is a big one!  Be very clear on what your core purpose and your core values are.  Not just “where” you are going, but also “how” you will behave along the way.  Once you have this established, it will make every other decision easier.  This one will take you some time and if you get stuck, reach out to a trusted person such as a mentor or coach.  You have to nail this one.

Step 2: Now, take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle, lengthwise.

Step 3: Decide on an area of your life or work where you’d like to have better results and less
stress. For example, perhaps you want to expand into an area that you know you can add value.  I spoke to a client about this exact topic with a woman who had put her hand up in her organization to put together a robust onboarding program.  She did an outstanding job and the whole team was so appreciative – and she was playing to her strengths and working in “flow”.

Step 4: On the left-hand side, list the tasks or activities you do in that area of your work or life. Say you want to be an expert in a certain area and thought leader…you might list attending conferences, pitching organizations for speaking opportunities, writing new articles, reading and researching, and so on.

Step 5: On the right-hand side, make a list of your biggest “wins” in that area, like a speaking gig, a presentation you really nailed at work, or a pitch that was accepted at a major publication. This can often be a difficult step for some people. We have not been culturally conditioned to celebrate ourselves, so often, peoplewill draw a blank when listing their “wins.” Any result you’ve gotten (either one time or repeatedly) that was positive can go on this list.

Step 6: Draw a line connecting each of your biggest wins to the activity or task that was most responsible for that result. Reading and researching, for instance, were essential to getting your pitch accepted for publication, so connect these two together.

Step 7: Circle all the activities and tasks on the left side of your paper that have been responsible for your big wins. Look at what’s left. Whatever isn’t circled is something that you need to either stop doing completely, significantly minimize, or delegate if it absolutely must be done. For instance, if you discover that traveling for conferences once a month isn’t directly contributing to any wins, it’s time to set that aside or at least cut back.

Step 8:  Focus.  If you are being authentic in your path, working downstream and focusing your energy on one thing at a time, you will make strides.  This is a tough one because there are so many distractions and “have tos” in our life that can overtake us.  Stay the course.

Achieving More by Doing Less
The main point is not to stop trying but to stop trying so hard at things that don’t matter. By focusing efforts on personally meaningful goals, trying becomes effortless, and success feels internally satisfying. The paradigm shift towards downstream effort offers leaders a powerful framework for sustainable success. This might seem counterintuitive, but the call to action is clear: examine your inner achievement addict, question motivations, and choose pursuits that are true and authentic. Health, well-being, and authenticity outweigh external validations. When these values are prioritized, you get clear on what you want, you focus on one path, and you work in flow, individuals can truly achieve more by doing less.

My career has spanned three different decades and lots of things have changed. Everything from the formality of the office dress code to the way we communicate with our co-workers. (Think memorandums versus text message.) One thing that hasn’t changed is the number of people who have confessed to me that they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up.

I have coached young professionals in their 20’s who haven’t picked a career because they don’t know where to start. I recently coached an accountant in her 30’s because while she was very good at her job, it left her tired and uninspired at the end of the day. After the pandemic, I coached a lot of professionals in their 40’s and 50’s who were ready to try something new. They didn’t know what they wanted to do for the next 20 years of their career, but they knew it wasn’t what they had been doing for the last 20 years!

Most of us need to work for a living. I would suggest that everyone I have ever met would like to find a way to do that while providing a valuable service that feeds their soul.

Maybe it isn’t possible for everyone to find that one thing, but as a business consultant, I take satisfaction from helping as many people as I can grow, learn, and develop in a way that’s meaningful to them. The Japanese culture embodies the belief that we can all find that thing. In fact, they have a word for it.

Ikigai.

In its literal form, the term “iki” refers to the concept of life or being alive, while “kai,” (pronounced as “gai” in this case) can be translated as worthiness, fruitfulness, or effectiveness.
It’s the intersection of

1. The thing you love to do
2. The thing you are good at
3. Something that the world needs
4. Good/service that others will pay for

This is the place where you find your flow state and get energy from your endeavors. Excellence comes easily because you are working with your natural inclinations, talents, and gifts. And if, like many people, you need your job to support yourself financially, something that others value as well.

Ikigai requires that you carve out some time to deepen your self- knowledge and challenge your assumptions about what is possible.  It requires that you create a plan based in something different than where you are today and then ground your plan in the reality of the world in which we live.

A great way to explore and uncover the possibilities of your Igikai is through the delicate balance of assessment-based data and a coach who will challenge you from a place of care and compassion.

I am grateful that at Steople we use a variety of scientifically validated assessments to help people learn more about their drive, their motivation, and their inherent gifts. Assessments can be helpful as you identify the areas of work that you truly enjoy and that you are naturally skilled in.  They will frequently put into words things you always knew about yourself but didn’t know how to explain.  Assessments are a great first step as you are looking for clarity around a vocation or profession that speaks to you. Through assessments you can begin to identify the work that allows you to most easily reach your place of excellence.

So, whether you are early in your career, experiencing a mid-career pivot, or just want to do something different for the last part of your career, using assessments to begin mapping your Ikigai may be the perfect way for you to discover the worthiness of being alive through your work.

Want to learn more about the concept of Ikigai?  Check out the book Ikigai by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Want to start your journey into Ikigai? Give us a call. We are here to help.

As I sat in the passenger seat of Debbie’s car, she gave me a tour of the beloved Ft. Worth children’s hospital she had worked at for the past 43 years.  She spoke with love and respect about what she had helped build over that time.  She reminisced about the two small buildings they had started in all those years ago and pointed to the numerous blue-topped roofs and sprawling grounds they decorated with adorable, welcoming-to-children topiary landscaping.  We saw the Ronald McDonald House and the staff childcare center, as well as the numerous areas for reflection and relaxation for those suffering a physical setback.  She talked about how the pandemic trauma of the last two years had impacted the culture they had built and even threatened to crumble it.

Regardless, as we pulled into the parking garage, she greeted the parking attendant warmly and asked how he was feeling, saying to me, that he had just recovered from surgery.  As we strolled the brightly colored hallways, Debbie chatted and hugged her way across the campus.  She would quickly point out those individuals who had been with the hospital for decades and were so dedicated to the cause of helping children heal that they wouldn’t think of leaving until retirement.  During this tour, I fell in love with this new hospital client of ours and told Debbie how inspired I was to be a part of their purpose on this planet.

The whole experience was remarkable and seeing so many long-term employees reminded me of another group I had worked with the week before who had recently been acquired by one of my clients.  During our joint company strategic planning session, we were discussing the “talent war,” and we all listened intently as two of the owners of the acquired company talked about the team that became family over the years.  They had started at the age of 16 working in the lumber business and were set to retire from that same company in the next 5 or so years.  They talked about others in the business who grew up together, got through school, enjoyed fishing trips as a team, went to one another’s weddings, and celebrated when they had children. We are talking retention of 31…28…19 years, which are unbelievable numbers in today’s world.

So how is this possible and do we have any chance of recreating this in today’s job market?  Some will say “No way, today’s workforce isn’t nearly as loyal, and it is not realistic.”  But is that true?  Or can we at least aim to be a significant part of an employee’s work history?  I believe we can.

Develop a Great Retention Initiative
Many employers are no doubt wishing that the Great Resignation, where employees have been quitting their jobs in record numbers since the Spring of 2021, would suddenly become a very different trend: the Great Retention. But research suggests that many workers remain confident about their prospects in the current hiring market, in fact, 41% of respondents are currently looking or plan to look for a new role in the next six months.  This means employers must still be vigilant about the risk of top performers walking out the door.

This, in my opinion, is the number one issue, outside of finding talent, for companies today.  Every single coaching or consulting conversation I have includes the current challenges with talent.  And it’s not getting better anytime soon.  We have to look at those companies who are doing it well, come up with creative strategies, and listen to what our most-valued employees are telling us. Based on research and my own anecdotal evidence there are 8 areas that I believe you need to focus on as a leader to retain your talent.  I hope these resonate with you and inspire you to work on at least one of these:

1. Create and Support an Inclusive “Family” Culture
Having a “sticky” culture where people take care of one another and truly care is crucial.  Through the years that is one common thread in companies I have seen be successful in keeping their employees long-term…they are one another’s work family and it would be unthinkable to leave that family.  Now with that kind of vulnerability, you must make sure there are good boundaries in place so there is no “family dysfunction”, but essentially these teams support one another through the good times and the bad.

2. Find Each Team Member’s Motivation ‘Lever’
“Money” is not the reason people stay in a job.  It can be demotivating if they are paid unfairly but thinking about throwing money at an employee who is thinking of leaving is the wrong strategy. Every person has his or her levers of engagement and motivation: Fun. Authority. Development. Responsibility. Autonomy. Respect. Recognition. Challenge. Variety. Figure out what each individual needs, then figure out how to best work towards it. Meeting those individuals where they are is one of the best things you can do as a leader.

3. Emphasize Shared Non-Negotiable Core Values
From the beginning, recruit people whose values align with yours and the company. This builds a positive atmosphere and culture, which resonates with people and keeps them on board. Consult with your people, find out what they care about, and build collaborative solutions that inspire their loyalty and commitment. People like to feel included, and valued and that their contribution makes a difference.  The great thing about this is that if there is a value mismatch the team will pick it up instantly and advocate to keep the shared values on track.

4. Rally Everyone Behind an Emotionally Driven Purpose
Most employees want to feel part of something bigger and to be proud of it. In addition to rewards and positive feedback, leaders can inspire others by consistently and regularly communicating a clear purpose that people connect with emotionally. It is easy to get mired in the day-to-day details; step back and connect those details to a broader vision. This means embedding it in your everyday work not just from a “marketing” perspective (posted on your website), but in daily conversations as evidence of working towards that incredibly important purpose beyond making money.

5. Change Old-School Thinking Against Flexibility and Track Results Instead
In 2022, people value flexibility more than ever. If someone is in a role that can be effectively carried out through flexible work, then offer this. Not only is this hugely rewarding for employees, but it also gives them a sense of comfort, knowing that you trust them to carry out their role effectively and manage their own time.  And don’t automatically assume the younger generation will take advantage of it.  Depending on what stage of life and career people are in will determine how much or how little structure or time in the office they will need or want.  Track results, not “butts in chairs”.

6. Get Everyone Directly Involved in The Company
Money is the result of successful work and not a sustainable source of motivation. Other important forms of compensation include having fun, working on something great, recognizing and appreciating colleagues, and the feeling of having achieved something challenging. Coming from this mindset, rather than just exchanging their time for money, the culture should encourage an “owners’ mindset” in the employees.  The employees can then be a part of building something inspiring that they can be incredibly proud of.

7. Recognize Your Team Member’s Humanity
The most meaningful way to recognize employees amidst all the difficulties we are facing in the current challenging business and social environment is to first and foremost recognize their humanity. Know the individuals on your team and recognize each employee’s unique challenges as the year unfolds.  Command and control are out.  Prioritize time, space, and opportunity for them to thrive and reach their goals by guiding their growth and investing in them. Compassion is one of the most overlooked leadership traits to leverage, especially after a couple of tough years.

8. Share What Each Employees Role in Your Vision for The Future Is
Inspire people to want to work with you and each other by sharing your vision and their role in it. You might be working your way through current challenges, but your eyes are on the future. Tell them about three indicators informing your vision for the future and why those give you confidence. Assure your people that they are building the foundation for a future in which all of them play a part. Be honest, specific, visionary, and hopeful.  People love making a difference and being a part of something big.

The list above is near and dear to my own heart.  The two that were highlighted by the clients I was working with the last two weeks were knowing one another on a personal level and ensuring people understood how relevant their contribution was to the success of the organization.  This aligns nicely with Patrick Lencioni’s work on employee engagement.  I would hope that you might look at the above list and rank yourself from 1 to 5 on each.  Then ask yourself which one you might need to work on from now till the end of the year.  If you are diligent in working on it, it will pay off…I promise!  If you need more resources, please let us know, and, as always, best wishes in your leadership journey!

• “I just want to go to one meeting and not have to talk about Covid…it’s overwhelming.” – Physician
• “I’ve been never worked so hard and have so little to show for it.” – Consultant
• “I am spending the majority of my day trying to track who is or is not at work and who is or is not sick.” – HR Professional
• “Before COVID I would get home around 6 and be able to enjoy my family.  Now I am not traveling and working alone in my home office until 9:00 at night…it’s exhausting.”  – Sales Professional
• “I’m quitting – I have had to tell over 100 families their loved ones passed away.” – Nurse

These are all statements made to me just in the last week.  We are all feeling it!  The last nine months have definitely been challenging for each and every one of us. Here at Steople what we have witnessed with our clients has been work from home orders, downsizing, compassion fatigue (especially in healthcare), agonizing decisions, and working much longer hours.  But on the other side of this difficult time in history, there are many lessons!  Across the board, I feel we have all learned to adapt in the moment, become more creative in our problem solving, and gotten very comfortable with ambiguity.  But how can we put all of this to work for us in 2021?

Post-COVID Review
Many of you probably already utilize post-project reviews on your own team.  Why not implement something similar at this time of year…a post-pandemic review for 2020 (realizing it is far from over)?  Being able to look back and discuss as a team what could have gone better might be time well-spent.  Here are some helpful tips to facilitate the conversation:

• Ask for openness – Emphasize the importance of being open and honest in your assessment, and make sure that people aren’t in any way punished for being open.
• Be objective – Describe what has happened in objective terms, and then focus on improvements.
• Document success – Document practices and procedures that led to successes, and make recommendations for applying them to future issues.
• Look with hindsight – Pay attention to the “unknowns” (now known!) that may have increased implementation risks. Develop a way of looking out for these for future difficult events.
• Be future-focused – Remember, the purpose is to focus on the future, not to assign blame for what happened in the past. This is not the time to focus on any one person or team.
• Look at both positives and negatives – Identify positive as well as negative lessons.

Today I’m going to lay out what I see as some of the top “silver lining” leadership lessons that I have learned that will stay with me for years to come. As I document these I am going to get a little help from some of our most respected leadership thought leaders.

Give Grace to Others
A client is late to a Zoom meeting, the restaurant didn’t get your lunch order right, a direct report missed an important detail in a presentation, and your 16-year-old forgot to set his morning alarm.  Hmmm…in these situations it is tough to hold the assumption of positive intent.  Brené Brown writes that asking leaders to assume others are doing the best they can move them from “pushing and grinding on the same issues” to the more difficult task of:

• teaching their team,
• reassessing their skill gaps,
• reassigning them,
• or letting them go.

“It’s a commitment to stop respecting and evaluating people based solely on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are, and holding them accountable for what they’re actually doing,” she says.

Find Joy in Missing Out
The pandemic has forced us to curb so many of our regular activities.  I’ve always said Mother Nature sometimes can stop us dead in our tracks and clear our calendars. Nothing could be truer in the past several months.  We must establish a new mindset.  One key strategy Adam Grant advocates are practicing gratitude. “I know many people are feeling FOMO, the fear of missing out, right now on all the things that could be happening in their lives,” Grant says. “But there’s also such a thing as JOMO: the joy of missing out.”  His gratitude list, for example, includes wearing sweatpants to work, skipping his commute, and having fewer awkward interactions with strangers.  Mine include having quiet time to work on much-needed projects, focusing on healthy eating habits, and more time with my 16-year-old son.

Realize The Importance of Human Contact
One of the most difficult parts of 2020 for those of us who are “high touch” people have been no handshakes, hugs, or expressions due to being behind a mask.  Paul Zak, the author of The Moral Molecule, argues, “We touch to initiate and sustain cooperation.” He conducted a “neuroeconomics” study from which he argues that hugs or handshakes are likely to cause the release of the neurochemical oxytocin, which increases the chances that a person will treat you “like family,” even if you just met.  He states there are even economic benefits to physical touch, probably because “touch signals safety and trust; it soothes.” Basic warm touch calms cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately involved with our compassionate response.” NBA teams whose players touch each other more, for example, win more games.

Understand Ambiguity is Here to Stay
Looking at an organizational chart, you will see boxes and lines. Boxes are what the individual job is and the lines are the reporting relations. Although most of a leader’s work might fall within their job description, the meaningful activities that will advance an organization never truly fall into any specific “box,” but surf in between them in the white space.  My observations of the past few months are very clear. The leaders who had the most comfort with the ambiguity of the white space and were able to bring a team of teams to work together as one have been able to achieve a tremendous and impactful amount of work in ways that heavily exceeded normal productivity – especially in the midst of chaos.

To emphasize this point, in his new book, Simon Sinek advocates that as leaders get beyond the normal day-to-day elasticity that running a business demands, playing the “infinite game” requires existential flexibility. What exactly is existential flexibility?  Simon Sinek describes it as, “The capacity to initiate an extreme disruption to a business model or strategic course in order to more effectively advance a Just Cause.” In other words, it’s a big-time offensive maneuver and not to be confused with the defensive adjustments companies make when facing changing client needs or market conditions.

Double Down on Discipline
When the pandemic kicked in mid-March I began to research what companies not only survived, but thrived during the economic downturn of 2007/2008. In a previous blog, I mentioned that one of the strategies they utilized was being disciplined and consistent.  In “Great by Choice,” Jim Collins recounts several stories of outrageous behavior by former Southwest Airlines CEO Herb Kelleher, including resolving a trade slogan dispute with another company by arm wrestling the firm’s CEO in an arena in front of hundreds of employees. He did this not for the sake of weirdness, but because by “behaving with outlandish consistency,” he was animating a culture designed to be high-spirited and fun-loving. His point was that ultra-successful CEOs exhibited a fanatical level of self-discipline, doing “whatever it takes to create a great outcome, no matter how difficult.”

So before you start to disperse for your holiday celebrations, sit down with your team and pose these three questions to them documenting as you go:

Reflecting back on how our team performed in 2020…

• What do we need to start doing?
• What do we need to keep doing?
• What do we need to stop doing?

My guess is you will find some “golden nugget” responses that you will be able to leverage as we roll into 2021.  Have a great rest of the week and finish this crazy, unpredictable year strong!